Jokes of the day for Friday, 27 February 2009

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 27 February 2009
  • Currently 9.54/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (102)

Q: What do yo...

Q: What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A: Full.
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Source: Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (2)

What do you get when a dog wal...

What do you get when a dog walks across the sun?

A hot dog!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
  • Currently 4.80/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (5)

What's the difference between ...

What's the difference between people
who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?
The ones in the casinos are serious.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The day - Used to be - Australian Joke of the day - site changed purpose and no longer serves jokes
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

The Senility Prayer

God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do like, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
This joke was reprinted from "Laugh Yourself Healthy" by Charles and Frances Hunter, with permission of Strang Communications. Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 3.88/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (8)

A Sunday school teacher asked ...

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"

One child answered, "Mary."

The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"

A little kid said, "Verge."

Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"

The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge n' Mary.
#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Waiting for love...

A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move.

"No thank you." she said politely. "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love."

"That must be rather difficult." the man replied.

"Oh, I don't mind too much." she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 4.43/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (7)

Find number abc

If aac11 + 50bc4 = 7b195 find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

A man goes into a bar and asks...

A man goes into a bar and asks for helicopter flavour crisps.
"We don't have helicopter crisps, sir," says the barman.
"Fair enough," says the man, "I'll just have plain."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

"Have you read the book I lent...

"Have you read the book I lent you -- How to Become a Millionaire?" "Yes, but I only got to the middle. Half its pages are missing!" "But isn't half a million enough for you?"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Sleeping in the barn

A hindu priest, rabbi and a lawyer were driving down the road, when the car breaks down.

Fortunately finding a farmhouse nearby, the farmer informed them that he had only one spare room, and that it had only two twin beds.

They were welcome to it, but one of them had to sleep in the barn.

After much discussion, the hindu volunteered to go to the barn.

A few moments later, a knock on the bedroom door, and the hidu explained that there was a cow in the barn, and cows are sacred and he could not possibly sleep in the barn with a cow.

Annoyed, the rabbi volunteered. a few moments later, a knock on the door.

The rabbi explained that there was a pig in the barn and that he, being very orthodox, could not possibly spend the evening in the barn with the origin of pork.

Finally the lawyer said that he would go to the barn.

A few moments later there was a knock on the door.

It was the cow and the pig!!!

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (2)

Stoopid Baby Names

A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, Mummy, why is my name Petal?

The mother replied, Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head. The next baby walked up and asked, Mummy why is my name Rose? she replied, Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head. The last baby walked up to her and said, BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY.

The mother replied, Please be quiet, Refrigerator.

#joke
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (3)

Answering Machine Message 104


"Muppet Show" theme:
It's time to leave a message
After you hear the tone,
It's time to leave a message
'Cause we're not at home tonight...
It's time to leave a message
On Kate and Shannon's phone,
It's time to leave a message
'Cause we're not at home tonight.
Just leave your name and number,
Such simple things to do,
And then when we get home we will
Get right back to you.
It's time to leave a message
After you hear the tone.
It's time to leave a message
'Cause we're not at home tonight.
Gone to get a bite,
Stayin' out all night,
Yes we have a life!
Leave a message, we're not home toniiiiight...

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

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