Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 04 June 2025
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 04 June 2025 |
Perfect...
A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married ?
Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman ... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."
"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least on girl that you wanted to marry."
"Yes, there was one girl .. once. I guess she was the one perfect girl .. the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything .. I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."
"Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend.
"She was looking for the perfect man," he said.
The Shopping Criminal
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.
"That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened."
Dan St. Germain: Too Lazy to Kill
I could never be a serial killer because Im way too lazy to follow a pattern. I used to murder women that look like Grandmother but now -- mostly delivery men. The sun sets from fear of Chuc...
The sun sets from fear of Chuck Norris.Sheng Wang: Man With a Comb Over
If you can show me a man with a comb over, I can show you a man who thinks that by crushing a bag of chips, you make more chips. Trivial Pursuit
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. When it was her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature".Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?
She thought for some time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
Cross-eyed dog
A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," said the vet, "lets have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes.
"Hmm," says the vet, "I'm going to have to put him down"
"Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man.
"No, because he's heavy," says the vet.
Blind Man
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut up."
Fridge Jokes
June 26th is World Refrigeration Day! Find jokes about it!
What do you call an encyclopedia in the fridge?
Cold, hard facts.
What do you get if you cross a stereo and a fridge?
Very cool music.
Why is cold milk always so relaxed?
Because it chills in the fridge.
What did the ranch say to the refrigerator?
Close the door, I'm dressing.
What’s the easiest way to get a six-pack at the gym?
Take the beer from your fridge and smuggle it in.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
What is blue, white and cant climb mountains?
A fridge wearing a denim jacket.
How can you tell if there is an elephant in your fridge?
There are footprints in the butter.
Why did the man throw the contents of his fridge out of the window?
He wanted to see the butterfly.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
Is your refrigerator running?
Mine too. See you at the refrigerator race tomorrow.
How come the fridge is always emotionally stable?
Because it’s always chill.
What do you call something that runs but never gets anywhere?
A fridge.
Why was the blonde sitting in the fridge?
Because the label on her juice said to refrigerate after opening.
#RefrigerationDay #WorldRefrigerationDay
A sweet grandmother telephoned...
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital and she timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"The operator responded, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the patient's name and room number?"
The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."
The operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse."
After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone, "Oh, good news. Her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal. And her physician, Dr.Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday."
The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried! God bless you for the good news."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"
The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything."
A compliment....
Bob was sitting at the table one morning, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player known for his lack of IQ.
He turned to his wife and said, "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
She replied, "Why, thank you, Dear!"
If my memory was any worse
Is swear if my memory was any worse i could plan my own surprise party. 
