Policeman jokes - jokes about policemen (1 to 10)

Policeman jokes - jokes about policemen (1 to 10) Jokes about policemen. These are funny jokes with policemen! These are the jokes listed 1 to 10.
  • Currently 9.54/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (8599)

Five year old Little Johnny wa...

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The policeman said, "What's he like?"
Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"
#joke #short #policeman #beer
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

The light turned yellow, just...

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing,stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.
He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, ''I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally....I assumed you had stolen the car.''
#joke #policeman
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

 Catching A Criminal


"Two policemen are considering the problem of catching the bandit. One of them starts to calculate the optimal mixed strategy for the chase. The other policeman protests.
'While we're doodling,' he points out, 'he is making his getaway.'
'Relax,' says the game-theorist policeman. 'He's got to figure it out too, don't he?'"

#joke #policeman
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 1.80/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (5)

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First Patrol Shift

A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, 'Let's get off the corner.'
No one moved, so he barked again, 'Let's get off the corner!' Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, 'Well, how did I do?'
'Pretty good,' replied the veteran, 'especially since this is a bus stop.'

#joke #policeman
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

I can come in a can, I can c...

I can come in a can, I can come as a punch, I can come as a win, You can eat me for lunch. What am I?
CHECK ANSWER
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What am I supposed to do with this?

"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.
"Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."
#joke #short #policeman
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

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Should Have Glasses

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"
#joke #short #policeman
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (12)

Identify The Problem

A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but was not getting many.
Then, he discovered the problem; a 10 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read, "SPEED TRAP AHEAD".
The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign painted "TIPS" and a bucket of change.
#joke #policeman
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

 Purchasing The Brain


A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices.
The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000."
The client asked, "What? How's that possible?"
The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."

#joke #policeman #doctor
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (11)

“A drummer who became

“A drummer who became a policeman was pounding a beat.”

#joke #short #policeman
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.08/10

Rating: 2.1/10 (12)

Avoiding A Big Object

Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.
"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, the driver asked for what.
The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
#joke #policeman
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 6.88/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (16)

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