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Christmas jokes - jokes about christmas day (1 to 10)

Christmas jokes - jokes about christmas day (1 to 10) Jokes about christmas day. These are the jokes listed 1 to 10.
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Have a great time for Christmas, check out our latest Christmas jokes of 2022 on: Christmas jokes collection

Christmas Present

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. Pastor Mike was looking at the nativity scene outside when he noticed the baby Jesus was missing from the figures. Immediately, Pastor Mike turned towards the church to call the police. But as he was about to do so, he saw little Jimmy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus. Pastor Mike walked up to Jimmy and said, "Well, Jimmy, where did you get the little infant?" Jimmy replied, "I got him from the church." "And why did you take him?" With a sheepish smile, Jimmy said, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to little Lord Jesus. I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas, I would give him a ride around the block in it."
#joke #christmas
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
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Rating: 9.5/10 (10)

You are not getting divorced!

An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is long enough."

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her," and he hangs up.

Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, "Like hell they’re getting divorced!" She calls their father immediately. "You’re not getting divorced! Don't do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don't call a lawyer, and don't file papers. DO YOU HEAR ME?” She hangs up the phone.

The old man turns to his wife and says, "Okay, they’re both coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.

#joke #lawyer #christmas
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Rating: 9.7/10 (16)

Letters from Little Boys to God

Dear God, Why is Sunday School on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. Tom L.Dear God, I went to this wedding on Sunday and they kissed right in the church! Is that O.K.?NeilDear God,If you watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show you my new shoes.Mickey D.Dear God,Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.BruceDear God,If you give me a genie lamp like in Aladdin, I will give you anything you want, except my money or my chess set.RaphaelDear God,Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.GregDear God,Please send Dennis Clark to another camp this summer.PeterDear God,You don't have to worry about me. I look both ways.DeanDear God,Are you really invisible or is that just a trick?DougDear God,I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair.Sam Dear God,I am American. What are you?RobertDear God,If you didn't let the dinosaur become extinct, we wouldn't have this country. You did the right thing.JonathanDear God,Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.LarryDear God,I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want you to know that I am not saying that because you are God already.CharlesDear God,I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Thursday. That was cool!Eugene-
#joke #christmas
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
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Rating: 9.6/10 (12)

An Atheist's Holiday

An atheist became incensed over Christmas holiday preparations. He filed a lawsuit about the constant celebrations given to Christians and Jews while atheists had no holiday to celebrate. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the long, passionate presentation by the atheist's lawyer, the judge banged his gavel and declared, "Case dismissed!"The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling. "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter, and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur, and Hanukkah. Yet, my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!"The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, "Obviously, your client is too confused to know about, much less celebrate, his own atheist holiday!" The lawyer pompously said, "Your honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be?" The judge replied, "Well, it comes every year on exactly the same date. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, if your client says there is no God then, according to the Bible, he is a fool. April Fool's Day is his holiday. Now, get out of my courtroom!"-
#joke #lawyer #christmas #aprilfoolsday
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
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Rating: 4.5/10 (19)

Find number abc

If 9bab3 - 188c3 = aa910 find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

There were two blondes who wen

There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
#joke #blonde #christmas
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
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Rating: 7.1/10 (17)

When the Circus Is in Town

The Catholic parish was having its penitential rite in preparation for Christmas. The circus was in town and the tumbler decided to go to the service and make his confession. The priest he confessed to was sitting next to the communion railing. The tumbler confessed his sins and then told the priest what he did for a living. The priest was fascinated. Using the communion rail, the tumbler gave the priest a demonstration of his moves. Two women were in line, watching all this. Mable said to her friend, "If that is what the Father is giving for a penance, I had better go home and put on my pantsuit."-
#joke #christmas
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
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Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

What should you give a ghost f

What should you give a ghost for Christmas?
#joke #short #christmas
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
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Thanks for the harmonica

"Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas," little Joshua said to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays. "It's the best present I ever got."
"That's great," said his uncle. "Do you know how to play it?"
"Oh, I don't play it," the little fellow said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night."
#joke #christmas
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
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Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Christmas Evolution

The 4 stages of man...
He believes in Santa Claus.
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.
He is Santa Claus.
He looks like Santa Claus.

#joke #short #christmas
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
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Rating: 9.2/10 (6)

Top 20 UK Christmas jokes of 2021

Annual UKTV channel Gold poll. 2000 Brits voted their favourite festive gags, these are top 20.

20. What is Coleen Rooney's favourite Christmas game?
A: Guess Who.

19. Q: What pantomime are the government doing this year?
A: Chris Whittington.

18. Q: Why does Jackie Weaver control the weather at Christmas?
A: She has snow authority.

17. Q: Why will Keir Starmer be sad on Christmas morning?
A: He'll still have no presence.

16. Q: Which 'Friends' character nearly missed the 2021 Reunion Show due to the Test and Trace app?
A: Chandler Ping.

15. Q: Which vaccine did the Three Wise Men have?
A: The Wiser Jab.

14. Q: Why does Emma Raducanu get to carry the crystal glasses at Christmas dinner?
A: They know she's unlikely to drop a set.

13. Q: Why did Matt Hancock have to buy his aide really expensive Christmas presents?
A: She had him up against a wall.

12. Q: Why are we only having broccoli, cabbage and peas as veg this Christmas?
A: Because 52% of the family said no to Brussels.

11. Q: Why does Christmas scrabble take so long with Boris Johnson?
A: He keeps going back on his word.

10. Q: Why can Netflix afford calamari at Christmas?
A: They're Squids in.

9. How do you know the heating bill for December is too high?
A: Dad won't even let you open the windows on your advent calendar.

8. Q: Why didn't Santa replace Comet and Cupid when they left to become HGV drivers?
A: It was just two deer.

7. Q: Why did Rudolph's nose have to self-isolate?
A: It failed the lateral glow test.

6. Q: Which vaccine did Father Christmas get?
A: Mince Pfizer.

5. Q: Which relative will not be at Chris Whitty's Christmas dinner?
A: Aunty Vaxxer.

4. Q: What's Piers Morgan's favourite Christmas song?
A: Walking off on air.

3. Q: Why won't Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Richard Branson see each other this Christmas?
A: They all want space.

2. Q: Why is Christmas dinner vegan this year?
A: Because Turkey is on the red list but vegetables are all green.

1. Q: Why are people cutting back on Brussels sprouts this Christmas?
A: The cost of gas is too high.

#joke #christmas #december
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
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