Christmas jokes - jokes about christmas day (1 to 10)

Christmas jokes - jokes about christmas day (1 to 10) Jokes about christmas day. These are the jokes listed 1 to 10.
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One Monday morning a mailman i

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. "Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night." the mailman comments.
Bob in obvious pain replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for Christmas Cheer and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I."
The mailman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play that?"
Well all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our "privates" showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is."
The mailman laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."
Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up four or five times."
#joke #christmas #monday #beer
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 9.50/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (10)

In the days leading up to Chri

In the days leading up to Christmas, people in San Francisco did everything they could to avoid the mauls, as they were a real zoo. The only people who weren't worried were lawyers with an escape claws.
#joke #short #lawyer #christmas
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

 Short Christmas Jokes


What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !
Christmas Elf
How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !
What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !
Who delievers cat's Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !
Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !
Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus !
How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ?
Stacks !
Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Eve ?
Because he's Sooty !

#joke #christmas #december
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

 Recalled Chrstimas Toys


Recalled Christmas Toys

  1. Broken Bag-O-Glass
  2. Dr. Kevorkian First Aid Kit
  3. Jeffrey Domhers Easy Bake oven and cookbook
  4. Timothy McVays home Chemistry set
  5. Switchblade Barney
  6. Pork-n-Beany Babies
  7. Make your own moonshine kit
  8. Mike Tyson Doll (with ear biting action)


#joke #christmas
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Calculate the number 5936

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 5936 using numbers [1, 6, 7, 5, 46, 914] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

 Dog Jokes 02


Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde?
A: A jet setter!

Q: What do dogs have that no other animal has?
A: Puppy dogs!

Q: Why did the dachshund bite the woman's ankle?
A: Because he was short and couldn't reach any higher!

Q: Where do Eskimos train their dogs?
A: In the mush room!

Q: Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
Because frost bites!

Q: What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog?
A: An animal that barks at low flying aircraft!

Q: What do you call an alcoholic dog?
A: A whino!

Q: What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog?
A: Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

Q: When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house?
A: When the door is open!

Q: Why don't dogs make good dancers?
A: Because they have two left feet!


#joke #christmas
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

Mailing Christmas Cards

I wondered if I could get my husband to help me address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, "Come on, Dear, let's get these out of the way."
He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, only to return moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed.
"They're last year's," he said. "I forgot to mail them. Now let's go out to dinner and relax."

#joke #christmas
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
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Rating: 7.7/10 (6)

6 Funny Christmas Jokes

"What do you call Santa’s most impolite reindeer?"
"Rude-olph."

"What street in France do reindeer live on?"
"Rue Dolph."

"How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh and reindeer?"
"Nothing, it’s on the house!"

"What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked up in the sky?"
"Looks like rein, deer!"

"Why doesn’t Santa use reindeer milk in his coffee?"
"He’s on a non-deery diet."

"What kind of money do reindeer use?"
"Bucks!"

#joke #christmas
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

Christmas Alphabet

How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet?
25... there's no 'L'...

#joke #short #christmas
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

 Commercial Christmas


Signs Christmas Has Become To Commercial

  1. You don't recall that line from It's A Wonderful Life saying, "Every time a cash register rings, a customer enjoys never-before year-end savings at Try-N-Save!"
  2. Your kid makes a fortune trading in "Elmo futures."
  3. Salad Shooter in hand, Michael Jordan shows up as the honorary "4th wise man" in new nativity scenes.
  4. The impossible-to-get "Tickle Me Jesus"
  5. Santa's Coyote/Ford-powered sleigh came in second in this year's Indy 500.
  6. Wise Men now arrive carrying Faux Gold, The Clapper and a Chia Pet.
  7. WWF presents "Oh, Holy Night" Cage Match pitting The Three Wise Men against Jumping Joseph, Manic Mary and the Dangerous Manger Boy!
  8. Santa goes to Yankees in blockbuster trade for the slightly heavier Cecil Fielder.
  9. Rudolph demands Holiday Pay or he walks.
  10. Santa's North Pole operation announces a corporate downsizing amidst rumors that the Elf Division will be sold off to Keebler.
  11. Reindeer rights purchase by Disney results in odd-sounding, "On Doc, on Happy, on Grumpy, on Sneezy. Now Bashful, now Dopey, now Eisner and Sleepy."
  12. $, the holiday formerly known as Christmas
  13. Rather large Nike logo emblazoned across His Holiness's pointy hat during Midnight Mass at St. Peter's.
  14. The Baby GAP's line of Swaddling Clothes(TM)
  15. Michael Jackson buys all rights to the phrase "Ho, Ho, Ho" -- an injunction limits Santa to "a bemused facial expression and laughter not exceeding two syllables."
  16. Image of Virgin Mary appears in Dennis Rodman's hair.


#joke #christmas
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

 Twelve Days Microsoft


On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Windows 95 for my PC
Christmas Elf
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC
On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC
On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC
On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 6 ints conflictin', 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC
On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC
On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 8 Megs overflowin', 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC
On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 9 apps a crashin', 8 Megs overflowin', 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC
On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 10 modes not supported, 9 apps a crashin', 8 Megs overflowin', 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC
On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 11 instructions faulty, 10 modes not supported, 9 apps a crashin', 8 Megs overflowin', 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC
On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 12 sound cards silent, 11 instructions faulty, 10 modes not supported, 9 apps a crashin', 8 Megs overflowin', 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 eighty six, 4 sectors bad, 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC!

#joke #christmas
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
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Rating: 1.6/10 (7)

Jokes Archive

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