They Enjoy Their Coffee
Why do Dasher and Dancer enjoy coffee so much?
Because they're Santa's star bucks!
It's just too hot to wear cloIt's just too hot to wear clothes today,"complained a man to his wife as he steppedout of the shower. "Honey, what do you thinkthe neighbours would say if I mowed the lawnlike this?"
she replied. "Probably that I married you foryour money."
Don't overburden a littlDon't overburden a little person. If he carries too much weight he's liable to imp load.
MAGIC SQUARE: Calculate A*B-C
On Each Bicep
My wife won’t let me get a tattoo of a grizzly bear on each bicep...
She is infringing on my right to bear arms!
That Was A Threat
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?”
I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
NED: I have a knocker on my hoNED: I have a knocker on my house door.
ED: Really. You have a knocker.
NED: Does that impress you?
ED: Yes. You deserve the No Bell prize.
When do you congratulate someone for their mistake?
On their Wedding Day!
In fairy tale-land, if you croIn fairy tale-land, if you cross a bridge, you have to pay the troll.
I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it.
My skin got flushed and my heart raced, I got sweaty and short of breath...
It's too dangerous.