Them: "Why do you always carry a knife?"
Me: "The last time I tried to open a bag of chips with a 9mm, things didn’t go so well."
Are Mexicans stubborn?Are Mexicans stubborn?
I don’t always go the extra mile...
But when I do, it's because I missed my exit!
The Frog and Cat Difference
What's the difference between a frog and a cat?
A frog croaks all the time, while a cat only nine times.
What hides this stereogram?
When I see acne it makes me voWhen I see acne it makes me vomit. It's a cyst-emetic reaction.
Rabbits On His Head
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares!
Would you walk into an unsuppoWould you walk into an unsupported building? For most people, it's a matter of truss.
Was Thoreau aWas Thoreau a hermit?
True Horror Story
Writing a horror screenplay. It starts off with a ringing phone.
The person answers and it’s their mom saying, “I have a computer question..."