“A mathematician once found a proof so shocking that it almost gave him a corollary.”
Tough First Day
First day as a police officer...
Captain: "Why did you call for back up?"
Me: "There was a fly in my car."
S.W.A.T. Team Leader: "What exactly do you think we do?"
Friar Gilbert Gottfried Roasts George Takei at the Friars Club
Calculate the number 9712
“The homeless man alw
“The homeless man always thought of owning a mansion and was dwelling on it!”
Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password...
It’s not stroganoff!
Helium balloon business
“Helium balloon business reaches new heights after customers speak highly of it.”
The Joys of Basic Training
My MTI (Military Training Instructor) once told me that I was outstanding...
I thanked him...
He then said that I was out standing in the sun too long and it affected my brain.
Answering Machine Message 211
As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone... The telephone is next to an answering machine... You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine... You hear a beep...