Fire Power
Them: "Why do you always carry a knife?"
Me: "The last time I tried to open a bag of chips with a 9mm, things didn’t go so well."
#joke #short
Are Mexicans stubborn?
Are Mexicans stubborn?#joke #short
Look Out
I don’t always go the extra mile...
But when I do, it's because I missed my exit!
#joke #short
The Frog and Cat Difference
What's the difference between a frog and a cat?
A frog croaks all the time, while a cat only nine times.
#joke #short
When I see acne it makes me vo
When I see acne it makes me vomit. It's a cyst-emetic reaction.#joke #short
A screaming, yelling mob were
A screaming, yelling mob were tearing up the High Street.A policeman stops one runner, and asks, "What's happening?"
"A lion has escaped," he gasps.
"Which way did it go?" enquires the bobby.
"Well we're not bloody chasing it!"
#joke #short #policeman
Rabbits On His Head
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares!
#joke #short
Would you walk into an unsuppo
Would you walk into an unsupported building? For most people, it's a matter of truss.#joke #short
Was Thoreau a
Was Thoreau a hermit?#joke #short
True Horror Story
Writing a horror screenplay. It starts off with a ringing phone.
The person answers and it’s their mom saying, “I have a computer question..."
#joke #short