Short jokes - funny one liners (1 to 10)

“Ratify is how a witc

“Ratify is how a witch turns a person into a rodent.”

What's Wrong Doc?

A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a breadstick in his right ear.
He says, “Doctor, what is wrong with me?"
The psychiatrist replies, “You are not eating properly.”

“The gymnast's feat

“The gymnast's feat of jumping on asymmetrical bars remains unparalleled!”

A Bite On My Neck

Patient: Doctor I think I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this water.
Patient: Will this make me feel better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see leaks and know where the vampire bit you.

Why Does It Rain

Little Johnny: "Why does it rain, dad?"
Father: "To make the flowers grow and the grass and the trees."
Little Johnny: "So why does it rain on the sidewalk?"

Tried to Resist

What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet?
A desserter.

“The retired weaver l

“The retired weaver liked to watch Star Trek and Lassie re-runs, dividing his leisure time between the warp and the woof.”

What Do You Do?

Her: What do you do?
Me: I race cars.
Her: Do you win many races?
Me: Not really, the cars are much faster.

“The New England arti

“The New England artist just brushed it aside when people gave her the nickname Yankee Doodle.”

Teacher: How can we get some c