They Say I'm Condescending
People say I'm condescending...
That means I talk down to people.
#joke #short
A man is in a restaurant where
A man is in a restaurant where a pianist is playing in a corner."Do you play things on request?" calls the man to the pianist.
"Oh yes, sir," says the pianist.
"Great," says the man. "Play dominoes."
#joke #short
Relationship Denial
I think there's something wrong with my girlfriend.
She's hallucinating.
She keeps telling me she's seeing other people.
#joke #short
When You Can't Spell
Teacher: What is a synonym?
Student: A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other!
#joke #short
Wooden Leg Smith
An elderly man went to his friend's house to have a little chitchat. Then, he told his friend, "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
His friend then asked, "So what's the name of the other leg?"
#joke #short
It's So Cold
It's so cold here...
That the local flasher is running up to people describing himself!
#joke #short
Ted and Julie go to bed with e
Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time.Julie: "I should warn you, Ted -- I've got acute angina."
Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."
#joke #short