The trigonometrist needed a...The trigonometrist needed a cosiner on his lease, because the terms were obtuse. He didn't want to get cotan a technicality. He checked for an expert with the best online radians.
“Hair stylists are tr
“Hair stylists are truly a braid a part.”
A woman goes into a butcher'sA woman goes into a butcher's...
"I'd like an oxtail please".
"Certainly", replies the butcher, "Once upon a time there was an ox..."
Chess Knight Move
“How would you descri
“How would you describe a dachshund standing on top of a sundial? Short on time.”
Never get in a situp contest wNever get in a situp contest with a guy named Abdul.
I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me...
The second one didn't!
The worst bag
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was… the worst case scenario.
Soup vs Chowder
“What is the difference between a soup and a chowder?
The soup is quieter while the chowder makes a clamor.”
Finding AccountantsA businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.
His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?"
The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."