Yoga can be dangerous. If you&
Yoga can be dangerous. If you're dressing for a class – wear a hazmat suit.My wallet
My wallet is like an onion.
When I open it, it makes me cry.
Happy International jokes day!
Chess Knight Move
A Quiet Alarm
Johnny's mother sees the young boy tiptoeing down the hall with a bucket of water.
She asks, "Johnny, why are you tiptoeing around with a bucket of water?"
Johnny answers, "Dad asked me to quietly wake him at five."
Happy International jokes day!
Tinder bio
My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel.
My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
Furniture stores
“The two largest furniture stores in my hometown are owned by a pretty single lady and a good looking bachelor. They started dating lately. Their customers are hoping for the best. So fa, so good!”
Can You Hear Him?
On his first day back to work after the birth of his son, Randy's supervisor said, "I understand you have a new youngster at your house?"
Randy glanced around apprehensively, "For heaven's sake, you can't hear him all the way out here, can you?"
Fictional Adult
I tried to type on my phone, “I’m a functional adult.”
My phone changed it to “fictional adult.”
I left it as is, as I feel that’s more accurate.