“The often-looted grocery accepted no credit cards because their business was mainly smash-and-carry.”
What is a web developer's favourite tea?
A furniture store keeps calling me
All I wanted was one night stand
Photo by Di_An_h on Unsplash
Tim Conway's Elephant Story
Find number abc
“Handing in his term paper on water bears a day late got Bruno a tardy grade.”
A New Machine
Went to the gym and there's a new machine.
I used it for an hour and felt sick.
Its good though, it does everything.
Kit Kats, Mars bars, Snickers, etc...
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop.
It was sole-destroying
Author: Alex Horne, Joke was second on August 2013 on Fringe’s best one-liner prize
Plane lunch choices
I’m on a plane and the lunch choices are white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I’m seated in the last row.
I’m hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.
By reddit user OK_Compooper, posted on Oct. 08. 2019.
Frank Caliendo has Morning Show in stitches with hilarious celebrity impersonations
Poker for feathers
“My buddies and I once got snowed in my cabin for days and played poker for feathers from an old duvet to pass the time. At least my friends were there when the chips were down.”