The Hard Worker
Boss: "Working hard here, Jimmy?"
Jimmy: "Ever since I heard you coming down the stairs, boss!"
Wallet packed with money
"Last Sunday I found a wallet packed with money down by the church.""Did you give it back?"
"Not yet. I'm still trying to decide if it's a temptation from the devil or the answer to a prayer."
Hide & Seek Crisis
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek...
Do they automatically lose because they can't find themselves?
Tattoo Your Name
Husband: "I want to tattoo your name on me. What do you think, shall I do it on my arm or neck?"
Wife: "How about on your will?"
You Are A Cheat
"You are a cheat!" roared the angry card player.
"I am not," responded the accused.
"You certainly are," insisted the first man. "I know for sure that I never dealt you that ace!"
Twitter Soldiers
Why don't Twitter users make good soldiers?
Because they're always too quick to retweet.
Driving schools in Britain are
Driving schools in Britain are very stringent. Truck drivers for example must have a back-a-lorry-up degree.Big Merger
One day YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will merge...
It'll be called YouTwitFace.
Whenever we enter a street mar
Whenever we enter a street market, I tell my wife, “Watch out, things are gonna get haggley.”Best Diet Ever
My friend Joe recently went on the Dolly Parton diet...
It made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean!