Beer jokes (1 to 10)

Beer jokes (1 to 10) Jokes about beer. These are the jokes listed 1 to 10.
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Female hormone

Recently scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive.
#joke #short #beer
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.45/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (11)

16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lip

16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass Out All Day Long
15. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
14 If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
12. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well
11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' better
10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
8. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like You're Still Here
7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now
6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him
5. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
3. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure
2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer
And the Number one Country Western song is. . . .
1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With Ugly Women, but I've Sure Woke Up With A Few
#joke #beer
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

Training for job

An American-Indian walks into a saloon with a shotgun in one hand and a 10-litre bucket of manure in the other. The Indian says to the bartender: "Me want Lager!"
The bartender says: "Sure, Chief, coming right up." He then serves the Indian a tall glass of Tennents Lager. The Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket, throws the manure into the air and blasts it with the shotgun. He then walks out.
Five days later, the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and another bucket of manure in the other. He struts up to the bar and tells the bartender: "Me want beer!"
The bar keeper says: "Whoa there Tonto, we're still cleaning up from the last time you were here...What was that all about, anyway?" he asked.
The Indian explained: "Me training for job as government employee. Drink beer, shoot the shit, disappear for a few days, then come back and see if somebody else has cleaned up the mess me left behind..."
#joke #beer
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (10)

 Catch A Drunk Driver


Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?", asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."

#joke #beer
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

Can you replace the question mark with a number?

MATH PUZZLE: Can you replace the question mark with a number?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

It was horrible

A store manager Bob stopped by a small manufacturing plant he spotted during his last trip through a part of the countryside in the hopes of gaining another client in the area.

However, little did Bob know that the plant manager was going to be a tough customer to please.

With a broad smile and a reassuring tone, Bob handed the plant manager a beautiful box of cigars as a gift, but the man barely gave it a sideways glance before he said,

"No cigars for me, thank you. I smoked one once, and it was horrible."

Bob is nothing if not prepared, so he offered to take the plant manager out for a few beers, but again the suggestion missed the mark.

"No alcohol for me, thank you. I drank it once, and it was horrible."

Not ready to give up just yet, Bob got a bright idea as he looked out the window and saw people playing golf.

"That's quite alright," he told the plant manager.

"How about you come and play a round of golf at my club as my personal guest?"

However, for the third time, Bob's luck struck out, as the plant manager replied,

"No golf for me, thank you. I played the sport once, and it was horrible.

" The plant manager had barely finished his sentence when a young man joined them at the table.

"Let me introduce my son, Jason,"

the plant manager said. Surprised, Bob gave the young man a quick once over before he replied,

"Let me guess, he is an only child?"

#joke #beer
Joke | Source: Hand picked jokes - Daily Jokes hand picked from various locations
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

Guy walks into a bar ...

Guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under arm.

Says to the bartender:

"I’ll take a beer, and one for the road."

#joke #short #walksintoabar #beer #pun
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

1. Do not walk behind me, for

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just leave me the Hell alone.
2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.
3. No one is listening until you fart.
4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of payments.
7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.
13. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass... then things just keep getting worse.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
#joke #beer
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

 Ice Cream Flavor Galore


A January 1994 Reuters News Service story on Manuel Oliveira's ice cream shop in Merida, Venezuela, reported on his 567 flavors, including onion, chili, beer, eggplant, smoked trout, spaghetti parmesan, chicken with rice, and spinach. He said some flavors fail; he once abandoned avocado ice cream, and tossed out 99 pounds of it, because it wasn't smooth enough.

#joke #beer
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 2.08/10

Rating: 2.1/10 (12)

A New Cocktail

Bartender: I've got a new cocktail for you. It's a cross between beer and whiskey and it's the name of a children's sidewalk game.
Patron: Oh, cool! What is it?
Bartender: Hops-scotch!

#joke #short #beer
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.44/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (9)

Fetch Rover

I trained my dog to fetch me beer...
It may not sound too impressive, but he gets them from the neighbors fridge!

#joke #short #beer
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.54/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (13)

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