Mr. Johnson had been waiting eMr. Johnson had been waiting entirely too long at the doctor's office. His appointment was for 9:00 and it was nearly 10:30. Finally, an attractive nurse appeared at the waiting room door and said, "Let's go get a room."
"Honey, I appreciate the offer," he said, "but I've been waiting so long I'd hate to lose my spot now!"
Always on Call
A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
‘We need a fourth for poker,’ said the friend.
‘I’ll be right over,’ whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, ‘Is it serious?’
‘Oh yes, quite serious,’ said the doctor gravely. ‘In fact, there are three doctors there already!’
A man asked his doctor if he tA man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred. The doctor asked the man, "Do you smoke or drink?"
"No," he replied, "I've never done either."
"Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?" inquired the doctor.
"No, I've never done any of those things either."
"Well then," said the doctor, "what do you want to live to be a hundred for?"
Find number abc
An elderly, wealthy woman in FAn elderly, wealthy woman in Florida was boring fellow beachcombers as she bragged on and on about her two remarkable grandchildren.
Unable to stand it any longer, a fellow sunbather interrupted her.
"Tell me, how old are your grandsons?"
The grandmother gave a grateful smile and replied, "The doctor is four and the lawyer is six..."
2 friends were camping out one night, when all of the sudden one of them jumps up screaming, "A SNAKE JUST BIT ME ON THE TIP OF MY PENIS!!".
The other friend said, "don't worry, I am going to town to find a doctor, I will be right back!".
So he goes to town, and finally finds a doctor.
"Doctor!! My friend just got bit by a snake!!!" the friend says. "It's ok", the doctor says, "all you have to do is suck the poison out.".
The friend says thank you, and runs back to the camp site. The injured friends asks, "WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY? WHAT DID HE SAY?"
The other friend replies, "doctor said you gonna die!"
Is Everyone Here?
A man was very sick. Doctors feared the worst. He is at home one day, resting in his bed. He looks up and says, "Is my wife here?"
His wife replies, "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you."
The man goes, "Are my children here?"
"Yes, Daddy, we are all here," say the children.
"Are my other relatives also here?"
And they say, "Yes, we are all here..."
The man sits up and says, "Then why in the world is the light on in the kitchen?"
There was a baby born in the hThere was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his testicles weighed five pounds.
All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him. Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong.
The head nurse replied, "We don't know what to do with this baby."
So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution."
"Why?" asked the head nurse.
"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."
A man has been undergoing mediA man has been undergoing medical treatment, and meets with his doctor to review some tests.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but I have bad news. Your condition is now incurable, and you have only 6 months to live. I recommend you get your affairs in order.
Man: That's terrible! Isn't there anything you can do? Surely there's some treatment!
Doctor: No, we've been using the best available medicines, and they aren't working.
Man: I'll try anything...what about experimental treatments?
Doctor: There aren't any for your disease, I'm afraid.
Man, desperate: Maybe alternate medicine?
Doctor, impatient: Well, I don't believe in that stuff, but if you insist...you can go to the spa up the road everyday and get a mud bath.
Man: Really? That will help?
Doctor: No, but it will get you used to dirt.