Doctor jokes - jokes about doctors (1 to 10)

Doctor jokes - jokes about doctors (1 to 10) Jokes about doctor. These are funny jokes with doctors! These are the jokes listed 1 to 10.
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Gotta give something up...

An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, "Oh oh!"

The man asked the doctor, "What's the problem?"

"Well," said the doc, "you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?"

"No," replied the man.

"Do you drink in excess?"

"No." replied the man.

"Do you have a sex life?"

"Yes, I do!"

"Well," said the doc, "I'm afraid with this heart murmur, you'll have to give up half your sex life.

"Looking perplexed, the old man said, "Which half - the looking or the thinking?"

#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
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Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Annual checkup...

Quasimodo goes to a doctor for an annual checkup. "I think something is wrong with your back," the doctor says.

"What makes you think that?" asks Quasimodo.

"I don't know," the doctor replies. "It's just a hunch."

#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
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Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

A motorcycle patrolman was rus...

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well.
However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence: "Get well quick ..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."
#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.67/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (6)

The ABC's of Marriage

After being married for 25 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her carefully, then said, 'You are A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.'
'What does that mean?' she asked suspiciously.
He said, 'Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous and Hot!'
She beamed at him happily and said: 'Oh, that's so lovely! But what about I, J and K?'
'I'm Just Kidding!'
(The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctors are fairly optimistic about saving his genitals).

#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 9.13/10

Rating: 9.1/10 (16)

CINEMANIA: Guess the movie title

See negative of movie scene and guess the title. Length of words in solution: 6
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

The check-up...

A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?"

The little girl stayed silent.

Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?"

Again, the little girl was silent.

Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heart beat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?"

"Oh, no!" the little girl replied. "Jesus is in my heart. Barney's on my underpants!

#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
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Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Chicamote handmade accessories
http://www.chicamote.com/

A week after their marriage, t

A week after their marriage, the redneck newlyweds, Ed and Wanda, paid a visit to their doctor.
"You ain't gonna believe this, Doc," said Ed. "My thingy's turnin blue."
"That's pretty unusual," said the doctor. "Let me examine you." The doctor took a look. Sure enough, Ed's "thingy" really was blue. The doctor turned to Wanda and asked,"Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed for you?"
"Yep, shore am," she replied brightly.
"And what kind of jelly are you using with it?"
"Grape," she replied.
#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
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Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

At the Doctor's

The nurse asked a patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown to be checked by the doctor.
'In front of you?' He asks shyly.
The nurse says: 'Well no, but I've seen the naked human body before. The man said, 'Not one like mine. You'd die laughing at my naked body.'
'Of course I won't laugh,' said the Nurse to the patient, 'I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.'
'Okay then,' said the patient, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing a huge male body with the smallest adult male organ the Nurse had ever seen in her life. In length and girth it was almost identical to a AAA battery.
Unable to control herself, the Nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out.
And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing. Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the man's private part, she composed herself as well as she could.
'I am so sorry,' she said, 'I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a Nurse and a lady, I promise that it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?'
'It's swollen,' Bob replied.
..........She ran out of the room.

#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (9)

Immaculate Miracle?

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"The mother says, "It's my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and she is sick most mornings." The doctor gives Debbie a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Debbie is pregnant--about four months would be my guess."The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never been left alone with a man! Have you, Debbie?" Debbie says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!" The doctor walked over to the window and stared outside. About five minutes passed before the mother said, "Is there something wrong out there, doctor?" The doctor replied, "No, not at it. It's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'm not going to miss it this time around!"
#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

 Passing An Exam


Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 8.92/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (13)

The old man in his mid-eightie

The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get upfrom the couch then starts putting on his coat.His wife, seeing the unexpected behaviour, asks,"Where are you going?"
He replies, "I'm going to the doctor."
She says, "Why, are you sick?"
He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of thatViagra stuff."
Immediately the wife starts working and positioningherself to get out of her rocker and begins to put onher coat.
He says, "Where the hell are you going"?
She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too."
He says, "Why, what do you need?"
She says, "If you're going to start using that rustyold thing, I'm getting a tetanus shot."
#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
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Rating: 8.6/10 (10)

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