Doctor jokes - jokes about doctors (1 to 10)

Second Opinion

A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it.
Doctor: Your tonsils have to come out.
Patient: I wanna second opinion.
Doctor: Okay, you're ugly, too.

A man was brought to a hospita

A man was brought to a hospital with heavily fractured bones. The doctor in the intensive care unit asks him, "Are you married?"
"No, I've been run over by a truck."

Don't swallow these pills

"Don't swallow these pills," the doctor said, handing the overweight patient a bottle of pills. "Instead, spill them on the floor three times a day and pick them up one by one."

Brenda and Steve took their si

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pan cakes in the middle of the table.
"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"
"Just take two," Brenda replied, "The rest are for your father."

A Break In Two Places

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places.
He told me to quit going to those places.

After the eighty-three year ol

After the eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination, the doctor said, "You are in fine shape for your age, Mrs. Mallory, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"
"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband," she said.
She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled out loud, "Bob, do we still have intercourse?"
And there was a hush. You could hear a pin drop...
Bob answered impatiently, "If I told you once, Irma, I told you a hundred times... What we have is... Blue Cross*!"
-------
* The Blue Cross Blue Shield is a federation of 39 United States health insurance companies

Drinking Fluids

Doctor: "Have you been drinking fluids?"
Patient: "Jeez, Doc, that's literally all I drink."

The patient was lying in bed,

The patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the effects of the recent operation. His doctor came in, looking very glum.
"I can't be sure what's wrong with you," the doctor said. "I think it's the drinking."
"Okay," the patient said. "Can we get an opinion from a doctor who's sober?"

An older gent had an appointme

An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. He approached the receptionist desk. The receptionist was a large imposing woman who looked like a wrestler.
He gave her his name. In a very loud voice the receptionist said, "Yes, I see your name here. You want to see the doctor about impotence, right?"
All of the patients in the waiting room snapped their head around to look at the very embarrassed man.
He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice replied, "No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation and I'd like the same doctor that did yours!"

There is one TV psychologist w

There is one TV psychologist who is a compulsive over-eater. They call him Doctor Fill My Craw.