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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Friday, May the 15th 2009
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Big Moe Wants Some |
| This big ole' trucker is driving through Dallas one night and decides to stop at this bar that a buddy of his had told him about. He parks his rig and goes inside. He walks up to the bartender says in this dumb-hick voice,"Big Moe wantsa get f*uked."
The bartender looks at him and tells him it'll cost him 10 bucks.
Big Moe drops a ten-dollar-bill on the bar.
The bartender tells him to go across the street to the hotel and knock on room 14 he'll get want he wants there.
So Big Moe goes over to the hotel and knocks on door number 14. This HUGE James Earl Jones type voice barrels from inside, "What the HELL to you want?"
"Big Moe wantsa get f*uked," our friend answers.
"Well," the voice replies. "Slip 20 dollars under the door."
So Big Moe slips the cash under the door.
He's waitin for awhile and nothin happens. A few minutes later he decides to knock again.
The big voice asks again, "What the Hell do you want?"
"Big Moe wantsa get f*uked," he answers.
The man on the other side shouted through the door, "What Again!" |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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I Often Feel Guilty |
Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."
"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."
"NO!!!" exclaimed the nurse. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward!"
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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During the French revolution, hundreds of people were guillotined. One day, three men were led up to die. One was a lawyer, one was a doctor, and the third was an engineer.
The lawyer was to die first. He was led to the guillotine, the attending priest blessed him, and he knelt with his head on the guillotine. The blade was released, but stopped halfway down its path.
The priest, seeing an opportunity, quickly said, "Gentlemen, God has spoken and said this man is to be spared; we cannot kill him." The executioner agreed, and the lawyer was set free.
The doctor was next. He was blessed by the priest, then knelt and placed his head down. The blade was released, and again stopped halfway down.
Again the priest intervened: "Gentlemen, God has again spoken; we cannot kill this man." The executioner agreed and the doctor was set free.
At last it was the engineer’s turn. He was blessed by the priest, and knelt, but before he placed his head on the guillotine he looked up. Suddenly, he leapt to his feet and cried, "Oh, I see the problem!" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 3.2/10 (5 votes cast) |
| During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids. "Now I am dropping this silver coin into this glass of acid. Will it dissolve?" No, Sir, a student called out. No? queried the professor. "Perhaps you can explain why the silver coin will not dissolve." "Because if it did, you would not have dropped it in!" replied the student. |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
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Baha'i is a Prophet Sharing Organization. |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Neighborhood Activities |
| Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city and they decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
To a young boy, they thought, spying would be a lot of fun and would distract him for an hour or so. |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
Q: How many Dallas Cowboys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One... if he isn't in handcuffs. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asked, "And what are those"?
The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"? |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 6.2/10 (6 votes cast) |
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
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Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 5.9/10 (9 votes cast) |
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Free GPS tracking service for mobile devices that allows you to track any cell phone with built-in GPS (or with Bluetooth GPS receiver) in real time - partner of the jokes of the day
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