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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Tuesday, Jun the 9th 2009
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Perfect Tee Shot |
A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally his exasperated partner says, Whats taking so long? Hit the damn ball!
The guy answers, My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.
Forget it, man, says his partner. Youll never hit her from here. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Pain in the neck |
| Why didn't they invite the giraffe to the party?
He was a pain in the neck. |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Short Irish Jokes |
Q: Did you hear about the Irish abortion clinic?
A: It has a 12 month waiting list.
Q: What's long & green & has a low I.Q.?
A: A St. Patrick's Day Parade
Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy.
Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they're always a little short.
Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He's Dublin over with laughter!
Q: Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
A: He couldn't afford plane fare.
Q: What's Irish and stays out all night?
A: Patty O'furniture!
Q: How did the Irish Jig get started?
A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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Mommy, you are getting fat! |
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," she replied ... "but what is growing in your butt?" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
You Know You Live in San Francisco When...
You are thinking of taking an adult ed class - but you can't decide between a Yoga, Channeling or Building Your Web Site class. |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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| A CEO of a large company is seeking advice on whether or not to downsize his company. He turns to his eternally optimistic secretary and asks, "Is this glass half full or half empty?" Well you know me, she replies, "be thankful for what you have. It's half full!" He then turns to his eternally pessimistic accountant. "Well, is it half full, or half empty?" He repeats. "Sir, you know my stance. There can always be more... It's half empty to me." He then turns to the re-engineering consultant sitting next to him. "Well, you can see my dilemma. What do you think?" The consultant looks at the half full glass of water, and then looks up at the CEO. "Well, looks like you've got more glass there than you need." |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 5.8/10 (5 votes cast) |
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A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
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"My other car was a bicycle last time." |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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The System |
| Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your ..." |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Blondes don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in backseats! |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 5.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws"
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Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 6.9/10 (7 votes cast) |
One of the mysteries of life is that a two pound box of chocolates can make you gain five pounds.
The reason women over 50 don't have babies is because we would put them down and forget where we put them.
It's time to give up jogging for your health when your thighs keep rubbing together and starting your pants on fire.
What happens if you confuse your Valium with your birth control pills?
You have 12 kids, but you don't really care.
Skinny people bug me. They say things like, "Sometimes I forget to eat." Now, I've forgotten my keys, my glasses, my address and my mother's maiden name. But I have never forgotten to eat! You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
What is the best way to forget your troubles? Wear tight clothes.
Why is it harder to lose weight as you get older? Because by that time your body and your fat have become really good friends.
My mind doesn't wander, it leaves completely.
What happens when you leave an outfit hanging in your closet for a while? I shrinks two sizes.
It's nice to live in a small town, because if you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.
I read some article which said that the symptoms of stress are impulse buying, eating too much and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's what I call a perfect day.
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Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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