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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Friday, May the 28th 2010
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NOTE:
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check funny videos and funny photos you have missed due to issue, using << Previous 'jokes of the day' link.
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Feeling This Song |
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Funny photo of the day Permalink | Source : This is Photobomb - Photojackers of the World Unite!
Rating: 2.3/10 (4 votes cast) |
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Mike Birbiglia: Pick Up Some Donut Language |
| I went to Dunkin Donuts last week, and the person waiting on me didnt speak any English at all, like, no words. And its like Im all for the melting pot theory, but if I lived in Portugal and I worked at Dunkino Donutos, I might pick up a few keywords, you know, like donutos, munchkinos, chocolatto, coverato. The customers would be like, Blah, blah, blah, donutos. And Id be like, Right away, sir. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 3.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Elevator jobs |
| Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
They don't know the route. |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 1.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
A bloke went to his mate's fancy dress party with nothing but a naked girl on his back.
"So what the hell are you supposed to be?" the host asked.
"I'm a snail." The bloke replied.
"What a load of rubbish!" the host spat. "How can you be a snail when all you've got is that naked girl on your back?"
"That's not a naked girl, mate," the bloke replied, "that's Michelle".
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 6.0/10 (10 votes cast) |
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Nine lives.... |
A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night.
The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred... "I'll die for you"
The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked,
"How many times?". |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 5.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
After much arguing and deliberation, historians have come up with a phrase to describe the Clinton Era.
It will be called SEX BETWEEN THE BUSHES. |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 3.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
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"If you were made in God's image, how did you get to be so ugly?" |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 4.3/10 (7 votes cast) |
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Alligator Shoes |
After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the
shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just
go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for
free!'
The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady,
why don't you go on and give it a try?'
The blonde headed off to the
swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the
shopkeeper was driving home, he spotted the same young woman standing waist deep in
the murky water, shotgun in hand.
As he brought his car to a stop, he saw a huge 9-foot gator
swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde
took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank.
Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on
the bank, watching in silent amazement as the blonde struggled mightily
and barely managed to flip the gator onto its back.
Then, rolling her eyes heavenward, she screamed in
frustration.....
CRAP! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO
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Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 6.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
An elderly gentleman...
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the
doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of
hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
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Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 3.4/10 (7 votes cast) |
The workman was hanging a sigh outside of Congress. It read, “Solicitors, fakers and grafters will not be permitted in the House.”
Just then a senator happened by. “Better strike out grafters,” he said, “or we’ll never be able to raise a quorum.”
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Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 3.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
The new minister's wife had a baby. The minister appealed to thecongregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family.The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it.
When the next child arrived, the minister appealed again and thecongregation approved again.
Several years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upsetover the increasing expense. This turned into a rather loud meeting onenight with the minister. Finally, the minister stood and shouted out,"Having children is an act of God!!"
An older man in the back stood and shouted back, "Rain and snow are actsof God, too, and we wear rubbers for them." |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
Rating: 6.0/10 (24 votes cast) |
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A Mental Hospital |
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.
"Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."
"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 6.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
| Which Greek philosopher’s wife never shaved? Heraclitas. |
Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
Rating: 1.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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