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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Sunday, Jun the 6th 2010
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Facts Of Life |
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Funny photo of the day Permalink | Source : This is Photobomb - Photojackers of the World Unite!
Rating: 3.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Mike Birbiglia: Mike Birbiglia |
| Ive been listening to this rapper, Busta Rhymes. Sometimes hell say a really good rhyme, and hell say his name afterwards. Hell be like, Cat in the hat, and that was that -- Busta Rhymes. I really like that. Id like to do that with jokes. Like, I like drinking coffee, but if I ever reach a point in my life where the best part of waking up is Folgers in my cup, Im not sure I wanna wake up -- Mike Birbiglia. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 4.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Making beer |
| How do frogs make beer?
Like everybody else. They start with some hops...
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 3.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Lightbulb Joke Collection 97 |
Q: How many procrastinators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One--but he has to wait until the light is better.
Q: How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but first they have to rewire the entire building.
Q: How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two--one to change the bulb and one to issue a rejection slip to the old bulb.
Q: How many managing editors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: You were supposed to have changed that lightbulb last week!
Q: How many Conservative economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. The invisible hand does it.
Q: How many Conservative economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. "There is no need to change the lightbulb. All the conditions for illumination are in place. Recent surveys show growing confidence in the lightbulb lighting up again."
Q: How many Conservative economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, because, look! It's getting brighter! It's definitely getting brighter!
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb really needed changing, market forces would have already caused it to happen.
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 1.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
| An explorer walked into a clearing and was surprised to see a pigmy standing beside a huge dead elephant. "Did you kill that?" he asked. The pigmy answered: "Yes".
"How could a little bloke like you kill something as huge as that?"
"I killed it with my club" replied the pigmy.
"That's amazing," said the explorer. "How big's your club?"
The pigmy replied: "There's about 150 of us"
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 6.1/10 (9 votes cast) |
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The traveling salesman |
The traveling salesman's car broke down in the country and he knocked on the farmhouse door. When the farmer opened the door, the salesman said, "Sir, my car has broken down, and I was wondering if you might be able to put me up for the night?"
The farmer said, "Why, sure, but you will have to sleep with my son."
The salesman hesitated then said, "Excuse me, sir, but I think I'm in the wrong joke." |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 4.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
Religious Bumper Stickers
Jesus Saves, Gretzky Scores!
Jesus is coming, look busy!
If God is your copilot, better change seats!
I believe in the big bang theory, God spoke and bang it happened.
If God created man in His image. Then what's wrong with you?
If you're living like there is no God, you'd better be right.
I get along with God just fine. It's his followers that I can't stand.
I am sorry, all of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.
Heaven is a lonely place. Everybody thinks they're the only one going!
Caution: Non Exposure to the Son will cause burning!
Hell... Don't even go there
Welcome to eternity... will that be smoking or non smoking?
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in school.
The problem with religious texts is that the answers aren't in the back, either.
Militant Agnostic - I don't know and you don't either!
O Lord, Save Me From Your followers.
Wanna come for a drive? It'll scare the hell out of you!
Don't drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 7.3/10 (7 votes cast) |
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Deliverance
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It is pouring rain in the flood plain of the Mississippi Valley, and the rising river begins to threaten all manner of private homes, including that of the local Rabbi.
With water coming into the ground floor, a rowboat with police comes by, and the officer shouts, "Rabbi, let us evacuate you! The water level is getting dangerous."
The Rabbi replies, "No thank you, I am a righteous man, who trusts in the Almighty, and I am confident he will deliver me." Three hours go by, and the rains intensify, at which point the Rabbi has been forced up to the second floor of his house.A second police rowboat comes by, and the officer shouts, "Rabbi, let us evacuate you! The water level is getting dangerous."
The Rabbi replies, "No thank you, I am a righteous man, who trusts in the Almighty, and I am confident he will deliver me."
The rain does not stop, and the Rabbi is forced up onto the roof of his house. A helicopter flies over, and the officer shouts down, "Rabbi, grab the rope and we'll pull you up! You're in terrible danger!"
The Rabbi replies, "No thank you, I am a righteous man, who trusts in the Almighty, and I am confident he will deliver me."
The deluge continues, and the Rabbi is swept off the roof, carried away in the current and drowns. He goes up to heaven, and at the Pearly Gates he is admitted, and comes before the Divine Presence.
The Rabbi asks, "Dear Lord, I don't understand. I've been a righteous observant person my whole life, and depended on you to save me in my hour of need. Where were you?"
And the Lord answered, "I sent two boats and a helicopter, what more do you want?"
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Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 5.2/10 (14 votes cast) |
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Old Biker |
One Sunday morning an old biker entered
a church just before services were to begin.
Although the old man and his clothes were
spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt
and boots that were very worn and ragged.
In his hand he carried a worn out old leather
jacket and an equally worn out bible.
The church he entered was in a very upscale
and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest
and most beautiful church the old biker had ever
seen.
The people of the congregation were all dressed
with expensive clothes and accessories. As the
biker took a seat, the others moved away from him.
No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him.
They were all appalled at his appearance and
did not attempt to hide it.
The preacher gave a long sermon about Hellfire and
brimstone and a stern lecture on how much money
the church needed to do God's work. As the old biker
was leaving the church, the preacher approached
him and asked the biker to do him a favor. "Before
you come back in here again, have a talk with God
and ask him what He thinks would be appropriate
attire for worship."
The old biker assured the preacher he would.
The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services
wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and
leather jacket.
Once again he was completely shunned and ignored.
The preacher approached the man and said, "I thought
I asked you to speak to God before you came back t
o our church."
"I did," replied the old biker. "
"If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper
attire should be for worshiping in here?" asked the
preacher.
"Well, sir, God told me that He didn't have a clue what
I should wear. He says He's never been here before."
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Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 6.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.
He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."
A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.
The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."
The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.
His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."
The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.
His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!" |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 6.8/10 (4 votes cast) |
Carl used to practice meditation on an old mat. His wife was not happy about the worn-out mat. One day Carl found the rug missing from its usual place. “Where is it?” he asked her sternly. “It has achieved nirvana,” she retorted.
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Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 7.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
There was a blonde driving in her car on the highway.She crashed into the car infront of her and a cop came over to her and said mam what is wrong? She said officer no matter where i turn there is a tree if i turn left,right, there is a tree. The officer leaned over and said mam that is your air freshener. |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
Rating: 3.6/10 (13 votes cast) |
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