Jokes of the day for Sunday, 06 June 2010

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 06 June 2010
  • Currently 9.61/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (74)

My girlfriend is out in the car #joke #humor

After dinner one evening a George W. Bush was entertaining their house guest by playing the piano.
At one point he turned to the visitor, a fat conservative talk show host, and said, "I understand you love music."
"Yes," murmured the guest politely. "But never you mind. Keep right on playing ..."
#joke
Joke | Source: Daily Jokes - A Clean Joke Everyday!
  • Currently 2.75/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (4)

Generous Students

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.
Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.
Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.
The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers.
Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity.
What on earth did you do that for? shouts Frank. You know he's only going to use it on drugs or booze.
Matt replies, And we weren't?
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 3.75/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (4)

Funny video of the day - Funny video of the day Sunday, 06 June 2010

Funny video of the day Sunday, 06 June 2010 - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (4)

Yoga can be dangerous. If you&...

Yoga can be dangerous. If you're dressing for a class - wear a hazmat suit.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Carl used to practice meditati...

Carl used to practice meditation on an old mat. His wife was not happy about the worn-out mat. One day Carl found the rug missing from its usual place. “Where is it?” he asked her sternly. “It has achieved nirvana,” she retorted.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.63/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (8)

Funny Photo of the day - Facts Of Life

Facts Of Life | Source : This is Photobomb - Photojackers of the World Unite!
  • Currently 4.60/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (10)

The traveling salesman

The traveling salesman's car broke down in the country and he knocked on the farmhouse door. When the farmer opened the door, the salesman said, "Sir, my car has broken down, and I was wondering if you might be able to put me up for the night?"

The farmer said, "Why, sure, but you will have to sleep with my son."

The salesman hesitated then said, "Excuse me, sir, but I think I'm in the wrong joke."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (2)

Lightbulb Joke Collection 97


Q: How many procrastinators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One--but he has to wait until the light is better.
Q: How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but first they have to rewire the entire building.
Q: How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two--one to change the bulb and one to issue a rejection slip to the old bulb.
Q: How many managing editors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: You were supposed to have changed that lightbulb last week!
Q: How many Conservative economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. The invisible hand does it.
Q: How many Conservative economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. "There is no need to change the lightbulb. All the conditions for illumination are in place. Recent surveys show growing confidence in the lightbulb lighting up again."
Q: How many Conservative economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, because, look! It's getting brighter! It's definitely getting brighter!
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb really needed changing, market forces would have already caused it to happen.

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.92/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (13)

Chess Knight Move

Find the country and its capital city, using the move of a chess knight. First letter is C. Length of words in solution: 7,7,8,6.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Making beer

How do frogs make beer?

Like everybody else. They start with some hops...

Submitted by Calamjo

Edited by Yisman

#joke #short #beer
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.57/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (7)

Mike Birbiglia: Mike Birbiglia

Ive been listening to this rapper, Busta Rhymes. Sometimes hell say a really good rhyme, and hell say his name afterwards. Hell be like, Cat in the hat, and that was that -- Busta Rhymes. I really like that. Id like to do that with jokes. Like, I like drinking coffee, but if I ever reach a point in my life where the best part of waking up is Folgers in my cup, Im not sure I wanna wake up -- Mike Birbiglia.
#joke
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (6)

An explorer walked into a clea...

An explorer walked into a clearing and was surprised to see a pigmy standing beside a huge dead elephant. "Did you kill that?" he asked. The pigmy answered: "Yes". "How could a little bloke like you kill something as huge as that?"
"I killed it with my club" replied the pigmy.
"That's amazing," said the explorer. "How big's your club?"
The pigmy replied: "There's about 150 of us"
#joke
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 6.07/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (30)

Deliverance

It is pouring rain in the flood plain of the Mississippi Valley, and the rising river begins to threaten all manner of private homes, including that of the local Rabbi.
With water coming into the ground floor, a rowboat with police comes by, and the officer shouts, "Rabbi, let us evacuate you! The water level is getting dangerous."
The Rabbi replies, "No thank you, I am a righteous man, who trusts in the Almighty, and I am confident he will deliver me." Three hours go by, and the rains intensify, at which point the Rabbi has been forced up to the second floor of his house.A second police rowboat comes by, and the officer shouts, "Rabbi, let us evacuate you! The water level is getting dangerous."
The Rabbi replies, "No thank you, I am a righteous man, who trusts in the Almighty, and I am confident he will deliver me."
The rain does not stop, and the Rabbi is forced up onto the roof of his house. A helicopter flies over, and the officer shouts down, "Rabbi, grab the rope and we'll pull you up! You're in terrible danger!"
The Rabbi replies, "No thank you, I am a righteous man, who trusts in the Almighty, and I am confident he will deliver me."
The deluge continues, and the Rabbi is swept off the roof, carried away in the current and drowns. He goes up to heaven, and at the Pearly Gates he is admitted, and comes before the Divine Presence.
The Rabbi asks, "Dear Lord, I don't understand. I've been a righteous observant person my whole life, and depended on you to save me in my hour of need. Where were you?"
And the Lord answered, "I sent two boats and a helicopter, what more do you want?"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 24 January 2010
  • Currently 5.21/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (43)

There was a blonde driving ...

There was a blonde driving in her car on the highway.She crashed into the car infront of her and a cop came over to her and said mam what is wrong? She said officer no matter where i turn there is a tree if i turn left,right, there is a tree. The officer leaned over and said mam that is your air freshener.

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 16 December 2009
  • Currently 3.84/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (49)

Religious Bumper Stickers
...

Religious Bumper Stickers

Jesus Saves, Gretzky Scores!

Jesus is coming, look busy!

If God is your copilot, better change seats!

I believe in the big bang theory, God spoke and bang it happened.

If God created man in His image. Then what's wrong with you?

If you're living like there is no God, you'd better be right.

I get along with God just fine. It's his followers that I can't stand.

I am sorry, all of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

Heaven is a lonely place. Everybody thinks they're the only one going!

Caution: Non Exposure to the Son will cause burning!

Hell... Don't even go there

Welcome to eternity... will that be smoking or non smoking?

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in school.

The problem with religious texts is that the answers aren't in the back, either.

Militant Agnostic - I don't know and you don't either!

O Lord, Save Me From Your followers.

Wanna come for a drive? It'll scare the hell out of you!

Don't drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 04 September 2009
  • Currently 6.56/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (9)

There was a boy standing on a ...

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.
He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."
A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.
The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."
The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.
His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."
The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.
His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 29 July 2009
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (7)

Five Jewish Men

Five Jewish men influenced the history of Western civilization.
Moses said the law is everything.
Jesus said love is everything.
Marx said capital is everything.
Freud said sex is everything.
Einstein said everything is relative.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 June 2009
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (30)

Deserted island

Harry was shipwrecked on a deserted island. For several months, he longed for someone to talk to; searched the horizons for even the suggestion of a ship.

One day, his committment was rewarded: A beautiful woman was washed up onto the beach, floating on a large steamer trunk. Harry got her all settled, and fed, and dried off and they started talking.

April asked Harry, "what is something you've REALLY missed being out here on a desserted island for so long?"

"A clean shirt," was Harry's response. With a huff, April reached into the steamer trunk and tossed Harry a shirt.

April let out a short huff, but persevered: "Surely there's SOMETHING you've really missed out here...all alone...on an island with NOBODY all this time?"

"Oh wow, YEAH, there sure is: I'd REALLY like a dry pillow to sleep on."

April reached into her steamer trunk once again and tossed Harry a pillow; and she would not be put off. Striking her most alluring pose, she asked in her most provocative voice, "C'mon, Harry, wouldn't you like to play around?"

Harry got all excited and started jumping up and down. "Don't tell me you have a set of GOLF CLUBS in there, too?!???!?!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 June 2009
  • Currently 5.55/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (29)

One day a college professor of...

One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class.
He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?"
After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.
"Well, hello there sir. So you actually think you're a moron?" the professor asked.
The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 June 2009
  • Currently 6.25/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (8)

Sexual Harassment

There are thousands of sex phone lines for men but only a few for women.

This is because if a women wants someone to talk dirty to her she can just go to work.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 June 2009
  • Currently 5.86/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (7)

Why didn't the skeleto...

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he had no guts
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 June 2009
  • Currently 4.75/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (4)

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