Jokes of the day for Thursday, 10 November 2011

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 10 November 2011
  • Currently 9.64/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (86)

Mass Hysteria

A professor of clinical psychology at Victoria University in Wellington, New Zealand, included a lecture on crowd psychology in his annual course. To illustrate mass hysteria, he regularly showed TV news footage of teenage crowds greeting the Beatles at the local airport in the 1960′s.

One year, when he ran the footage, he heard squeals and bursts of laughter from his students. When the film ended he asked what had caused the hilarity.

Replied one student, “We recognized some of our mothers!”

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke Diary - Really Funny Jokes Daily
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (8)

Really funny jokes-Describe in Albhabets

A wife asked her husband to describe her.
He said, 'You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K'.
She said, 'What does that mean?'
He said, 'Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous Hot'.
She said, 'Oh that's so lovely. What about I, J, K?'
He said, ' I'm Just Kidding'
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (12)

Funny video of the day - Do not Mess With Jedi Cat

Do not Mess With Jedi Cat - Or you will get gurt! - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (8)

Harry had a bit of a drinking ...

Harry had a bit of a drinking problem.

Every night, after dinner, he took off for the local watering hole, spent the entire evening there and arrived home, well inebriated, around midnight each night.

He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let him in. Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him for his constant nights out and his returned drunken state.

But Harry continued his nightly routine.

One day, the wife, distraught by it all, talked to a friend about her husband's behavior.The friend listened to her and then asked, "Why don't you treat him a little differently when he comes home? Instead of berating him, why don't you give him some loving words and welcome him home with a kiss? He then might change his ways."

The wife thought it was worth trying.

That night, Harry took off again after dinner. Around midnight, he arrived home in his usual condition. His wife heard Harry at the door and let him in. This time, instead of berating him as she had always done, she took his arm and led him into the living room. She sat him down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the ottoman and took his shoes off. Then she went behind him and started to cuddle him a little. After a while, she said to him, "It's pretty late. I think we had better go upstairs to bed now, don't you?"

At that, Harry replied in his inebriated state, "I guess we might as well. I'll get in trouble if I go home anyway!"
#joke
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 5.89/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (9)

Chuck Norris has the greatest ...

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 3.97/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (32)

Funny Photo of the day - At Least He’s Playing on the Right Team

At Least He’s Playing on the Right Team | Source : Jokes photos - Used to be - WTF Pictures and WTF videos - but site no longer exists
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (9)

The agile prostitute kept in s...

The agile prostitute kept in shape by parkwhoring.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (4)

"At Yale, Bush was presid...

"At Yale, Bush was president of his fraternity. Few jobs provide more hands-on experience in robbing others of their dignity. In fact, his senior year marked the first time in history Amnesty International intervened in a pledge rush."
--John Oliver
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (6)

Look carefully the picture a...

Look carefully the picture and guess the game name.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Please Show The I.D.


The following supposedly a true story.
This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give the scotch to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off of the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 6.41/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (22)

Cockroaches

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training...

I set off a roach bomb... they diffused it!

-Jay London

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 5.70/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (10)

Natasha Leggero: Dad and the Internet

My dad discovered the Internet. Uh, just because someone raised you, does not mean that you have to add them on Facebook.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 6.05/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (19)

Harry had a bit of a drinking ...

Harry had a bit of a drinking problem.
Every night, after dinner, he took off for the local watering hole, spent the entire evening there and arrived home, well inebriated, around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let him in. Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him for his constant nights out and his returned drunken state. But Harry continued his nightly routine. One day, the wife, distraught by it all, talked to a friend about her husband's behavior.The friend listened to her and then asked, "Why don't you treat him a little differently when he comes home? Instead of berating him, why don't you give him some loving words and welcome him home with a kiss? He then might change his ways." The wife thought it was worth trying. That night, Harry took off again after dinner. Around midnight, he arrived home in his usual condition. His wife heard Harry at the door and let him in. This time, instead of berating him as she had always done, she took his arm and led him into the living room. She sat him down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the ottoman and took his shoes off. Then she went behind him and started to cuddle him a little. After a while, she said to him, "It's pretty late. I think we had better go upstairs to bed now, don't you?" At that, Harry replied in his inebriated state, "I guess we might as well. I'll get in trouble if I go home anyway!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 29 March 2010
  • Currently 6.86/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (14)

My mind is gone...

"Oh God," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"

Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised: You've been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 12 February 2010
  • Currently 6.47/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (19)

A college student picked up hi...

A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu. Appetizers, lobster, champagne. . .the works. Finally he asked her,
"Does your Mother feed you like this at home?"
"No," she said, "but my Mother's not looking to get laid, either."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 22 December 2009
  • Currently 4.31/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (58)

Long-Distance Calls

A man in Topeka, Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and worked east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued by a sign which read: "$10,000 a minute." Seeking out the Pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The Pastor explained that the golden phone was, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he paid the price he could talk directly to God. The man thanked the Pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, San Diego, Chicago, Greensboro, Tampa and all around the United States, he found more phones with the same sign and got the same answer from each Pastor.
Finally, he arrived in Texas. Upon entering a church in Dallas, behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read: "Calls: 35 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the Pastor.
"Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone. I have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 35 cents. Why?"
The Pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Texas now... It's a local call."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 12 July 2009
  • Currently 4.80/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (10)

There was a man walking alone ...

There was a man walking alone along a beach. He comes across a bottle with a cork in it. The man picks up the bottle and pulls out the cork. A loud roar follows and a genie appears. The genie says to the man, "I'm a little tired today and I can only give you two wishes."
The man says "That's OK, two is enough." "First, I would like one-billion dollars in a Swiss bank account."
Poof - The genie hands the man a paper and says "Here's the number to your account."
Next the man says, "Second, I would like to be irresistible to women."
Poof - the genie turned him into a box of chocolates.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 10 November 2009
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (65)

Superman

My uncle had surgery and became a superman, and then the anesthetic wore off.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 10 November 2008
  • Currently 4.31/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (13)

Denis Leary: Older Generation of Fun

Some kid took the time and the imagination to go down to the supermarket and figure out, if you take a whipped cream can container and you press the nozzle down just enough before the whipped cream comes out, some gas comes out -- you snort the gas, you get high for five seconds. We didnt have MTV. We had the f**king supermarket, thats what we had.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 10 November 2010
  • Currently 4.56/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (9)

Blondes at the River

A blonde, out for a walk, comes to a river and sees another

blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo hoo!" she shouts, "How can

I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river, then down the river,

then shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 10 November 2010
  • Currently 4.11/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (9)

Repairing The Phone


A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission.
Repeated requests for repair brought only promises.
After several days, the phone company was again contacted and told that there was no longer a rush.
The phone was now working fine--except that all money was being returned upon completion of each call.
A repairman arrived within the hour!

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 10 November 2010
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (8)

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