Jokes of the day for Thursday, 08 December 2011

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 08 December 2011
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A man mentioned to his landlor...

A man mentioned to his landlord about the tenants in the apartment over his.

“Many a night they stamp on the floor and shout till midnight.”

When the landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied, “Not really, for I usually stay up and practice my trumpet till about that time most every night anyway.”

#joke
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 4.86/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (7)

Gifts For A Teacher #joke #humor

Two moving van men were taking things into a house.
One said, "Joe, help me move this chest."
Joe asked, "Why? Did miss Jones tell you to?"
"No.", replied Tom.
"Then how do you know she wants it moved?" asked Joe.
"Because she's under it."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Daily Jokes - A Clean Joke Everyday!
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (6)

Funny video of the day - Best Fails Of The Week 1 December 2011

Best Fails Of The Week 1 December 2011 - Many funny fails in December - link to page video is posted initially.
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Rating: 5.3/10 (6)

English School

Donald MacDonald from Scotland went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements of tatties, salt herring, oatmeal and whisky).

“And how do you find the English students, Donald?” she asked.

“Mother,” he replied, “they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night.”

“Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbors?”

“Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes.”

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke Diary - Really Funny Jokes Daily
  • Currently 5.11/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (36)

One line jokes-Cancelled cricket match

Have you heard about the Irish cricket match that was cancelled because both sides showed up wearing the same colours?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
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Funny Photo of the day - Nathan Fillion Strikes Again

Nathan Fillion Strikes Again | Source : This is Photobomb - Photojackers of the World Unite!
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Rating: 5.5/10 (6)

Someone once tried to tell Chu...

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
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Rating: 5.0/10 (13)

After Timberlake went to that ...

After Timberlake went to that famed Ukrainian watershed - he wrote ‘Crimea River‘.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
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Find the 7 letters word

Find the 7 letters word. Word may go in all 8 directions.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

A man mentioned to his landlor...

A man mentioned to his landlord about the tenants in the apartment over his. “Many a night they stamp on the floor and shout till midnight.” When the landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied, “Not really, for I usually stay up and practice my trumpet till about that time most every night anyway.”
#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.40/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (10)

An older man wearing a stovepi...

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, "Going to a party?"

"Yeah, a costume party," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lincoln." protested the barkeep.

"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."
#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (6)

Best friends???

Frank and Jim, are walking down the street when Jim turns to Frank and says, "Frank, if you had two of those top-of-the-line Mercedes Benz cars, with all the gear, electric windows, CD player and all of that, exactly the same, would you give me one?"

Frank says, "Jim, how long do we go back? Thirty years? We've been best friends since school, and if I had two of those Mercedes, top-of-the-line cars with all the trimmings, exactly the same, yeah, I would give the other one to you."

So, they keep walking. After a couple of minutes, Frank turns to Jim and says, "Jim, if you had two of those luxury type yachts, you know, with all the modern conveniences, and they were exactly the same, would you give one of them to me?"

Jim says, "Frank, you and me are like brothers, you were best man at my wedding, you attended my son's wedding, we have gone to the same lodge together for all these years. If I had two of those luxury yachts, exactly the same with all the modern conveniences, then yeah Frank, I really would give the other one to you."

They keep walking. A couple of minutes later, Jim turns to Frank, "Frank, if you had two chickens..."

"Now hold on there! Jim, you KNOW I've got two Chickens!"

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 4.44/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (9)

Furniture

There were these two ovaries and they were cleaning their house when they heard a knock at the door.

"I'll get the door." says the first ovary.

She looks out the peep hole and says, "Did you order furniture?"

"No, why?" askes the other ovary.

"Because there are two nuts at the door trying to shove in an organ!"

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Glaci

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.94/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (32)

Pete Holmes: I Love New York

There are so many people in this city, so much happening, that its impossible to tell if your apartment is haunted. Think about that, thats true. Cause you can hear anything, at any hour -- theres always something to blame it on.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 25 February 2010
  • Currently 4.21/10

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A young woman said to her d...

A young woman said to her doctor, 'You have to help me, I hurt all over.' 'What do you mean?' said the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled,'Ow, that hurts.' Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, 'Ouch! That hurts, too.' Then she touched her right earlobe. 'Ow, even THAT hurts.' The doctor asked the woman, 'Are you a natural blonde?' 'Why yes,' she said. 'I thought so,' said the doctor. 'You have a sprained finger.'

#joke #blonde #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 25 October 2009
  • Currently 6.13/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (52)

The Wedding

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 18 August 2009
  • Currently 5.26/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (65)

A married couple were asleep w...

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning, thewife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment andsaid, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here?" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, someyoung woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 08 December 2009
  • Currently 5.57/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (61)

Email of the species

The email of the species is more deadly than the mail.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 08 December 2008
  • Currently 3.54/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (24)

Try To Grow Chickens


A New York City yuppie moved to the country and bought a piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take up chicken farming. He then asked to buy 100 chicks.
"That's a lot of chicks," commented the proprietor. "I mean business," the city slicker replied.
A week later the yuppie was back again. "I need another 100 chicks," he said. "Boy, you are serious about this chicken farming," the man told him.
"Yeah," the yuppie replied. "If I can iron out a few problems." "Problems?" asked the proprietor. "Yeah," replied the yuppie, "I think I planted that last batch too close together."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 08 December 2009
  • Currently 4.58/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (12)

Smart Blonde

Did you hear about the smart blonde? You won't either.

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 08 December 2010
  • Currently 3.42/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (12)

Blonde Loses Sweet Job

Why did the blonde get fired from her job at the M&M factory? She threw away all the W&Ws
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 08 December 2009
  • Currently 6.09/10

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