Jokes of the day for Thursday, 04 October 2012

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 04 October 2012
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (64)

Two penguins...

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"

The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them but, I haven't had a clue."

The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."

"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.

The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."

"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a great time! Today I am taking them to the beach."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (2)

50 Years of Marriage

An old couple is having breakfast when the old woman says to her husband, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years.?"
"Yes," he replies. "Fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together. And we were probably naked as jaybirds."
"Well," the old woman snickers, "should we get naked again for old time's sake?"
So they strip off their clothing and sit back down at the table. "You know," the old woman says breathlessly, "my nipples are as hot for you today as they were 50 years ago."

SnapSluts

"I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!"

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (3)

Funny video of the day - Carrying Watermelon On Propane Tank like a BOSS

Carrying Watermelon On Propane Tank like a BOSS - On his head - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Really funny jokes-Deal with Bank

Martin had a drink too many at the pub and had also run out of money. But that did not stop him from ordering for more. So he said to the bartender, "C'mon Dan, give me a few more drinks. I'll pay you next week, I promise."


"Look," said Dan the bartender pointing out the window. "Can you see that building across the road?"

"Yes, I do. What about it?" said Martin.

"Well, that is the National Bank, and I had a deal with them" said Dan.

"What kind of deal?" Martin blurted.

"The pact was that they'll not sell booze, and I will not lend money." replied Dan.
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Policewoman

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police

cruiser pulled her over.

The police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde.

She asked for the blonde's driver's license.

The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?'

Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"

The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom.

She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman.

The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."

#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 6.14/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (7)

Funny Photo of the day - Because Rocket Launcher

Because Rocket Launcher - is a Nice Instrument Too | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (4)

B.J. Novak: Battered Women

Battered women: sounds delicious, doesnt make it right.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.42/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (12)

Family Bible

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.

“Momma, look what I found,” the boy called out.

“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.

With astonishment in the his voice, he answered, “It's Adam's Suit!”

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke Diary - Really Funny Jokes Daily
  • Currently 4.38/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (34)

Who is the mysterious person i...

Who is the mysterious person in the picture?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Strong Medicine for the Nun

Pat is not feeling very well and he decides to go to a doctor. While he is waiting in the doctor's reception room, a nun comes out of the doctor's office. She looks very ashen, drawn and haggard.
Pat goes into the doctor's office and says to the doctor: "I just saw a nun leaving who looked absolutely terrible. I have never seen a woman look worse."
The doctor says: "I just told her that she is pregnant."
Pat exclaims: "Oh my, is she?"
The doctor responds: "No, but it sure cured her hiccups."

#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 18 June 2012
  • Currently 3.69/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (16)

Chuck Norris has two speeds: w...

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 03 October 2011
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (18)

The new minister's wife had a ...

The new minister's wife had a baby. The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family.The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it.
When the next child arrived, the minister appealed again and the congregation approved again.
Several years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upset over the increasing expense. This turned into a rather loud meeting one night with the minister. Finally, the minister stood and shouted out,"Having children is an act of God!!"
An older man in the back stood and shouted back, "Rain and snow are acts of God, too, and we wear rubbers for them."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 07 December 2009
  • Currently 5.22/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (54)

Two guys were riding in a car,...

Two guys were riding in a car, arguing about how to say the name of the city that they were in. One said "Louieville" and the other "Louiseville." They went on arguing and arguing, until they came upon a fast-food restaurant. The one guy goes inside and says to the waitress, "Tell me the name of the place where I am right now really, really, really slowly." The waitress goes, "Bur-ger-King."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 04 October 2010
  • Currently 5.63/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (32)

Exchange

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?

Exchange him.

Submitted by Calamjo

Edited by Yisman

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 04 October 2011
  • Currently 3.27/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (26)

Preventive medicine belief

Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor.

Doctor: Oh, really?

Mary: Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!

#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 04 October 2010
  • Currently 4.79/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (24)

Chuck Norris sold his soul to ...

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
#joke #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 04 October 2011
  • Currently 3.54/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (13)

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