Jokes of the day for Thursday, 08 November 2012

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 08 November 2012
  • Currently 9.68/10

Rating: 9.7/10 (81)

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College Rules

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"

Howard Stern/Sirius Satelite Radio Vistors Pass

One student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"

#joke
  • Currently 4.20/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (5)

Good jokes-Habit

A nun is walking down the street , when a priest stops her to ask, "Can I walk you to the Convent?"
The Nun replies, "Ok, Just this time."
On reaching the Convent, he asks her, "Can I kiss you?"
She says, "Ok, fine with me, but do not get into the habit."
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (3)

Funny video of the day - Blonde and brinette vs car

Blonde and brinette vs car - It takes expert to find your own car - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 4.60/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (5)

Baseball bat...

After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her selection - a baseball bat to the cash register.

"Cash or charge," the clerk asked.

"Cash," she snapped. Then apologizing for her rudeness, she explained, "I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau. I am not too sane right now!!"

"Shall I gift wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly, "Or or you going back?"

#joke
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Oh the Internet is slow

The Net is Slow

Oh, the network outside is frightful,

But on campus, it's so delightful,

Our packets have nowhere to go,

Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.

It doesn't show signs of stopping,

All our packets, our hosts are dropping;

Bandwidth is turned way down low,

Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.

When we finally connect to a site,

It's time to go back to the dorm;

But if I could stay here all night,

I could submit their Web form.

The network is slowly dying,

And, I fear, we're still denying,

But as long as Sprint is the way to go,

Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.

#joke
  • Currently 4.20/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (5)

Funny Photo of the day - Baby, Apple Juice, Beer

Baby, Apple Juice, Beer - Every belly needs investments | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.57/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (23)

Liberal Jokes

Question - What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?

Answer - A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

Question - What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President?

Answer - A competent liberal President.

Question - Why do the male members of the Kennedy family cry while having sex?

Answer - Mace.

Question - Who was the first liberal Democrat?

Answer - Christopher Columbus. He left not knowing where he was going, got there not knowing where he was, left not knowing where he'd been and did it all on borrowed money.

Liberals are like seagulls: all they do is squawk, eat crap, and they are protected by the government.

#joke
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.25/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (8)

Family Bible

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.

“Momma, look what I found,” the boy called out.

“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.

With astonishment in the his voice, he answered, “It's Adam's Suit!”

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 22 September 2012
  • Currently 4.74/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (38)

Find number abc

If 70c93 - 27b17 = 4337a find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Chuck Norris once broke the la...

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 24 November 2011
  • Currently 3.64/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (44)

A Jewish Telegram

Jewish telegram: "Begin worrying. Details to follow."

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 July 2011
  • Currently 3.78/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (9)

One night, as a couple lay ...

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. His wife turned over and said, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again. This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 11 January 2010
  • Currently 5.51/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (65)

What does the starship enterpr...

What does the starship enterprise and tiolet paper have in common?
They both circle around uranus and wipe out klingons.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 08 November 2009
  • Currently 5.38/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (56)

Hari Kondabolu: Where Are You From?

Hes like, Hey, man, where are you from? So I told him, Im from Queens, New York. And then hes like, No, I mean where are you really from? Which, for those of you who dont know, thats code for, No, I mean, why arent you white?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 08 November 2010
  • Currently 3.88/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (42)

The original title for Star Wa...

The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 08 November 2011
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (38)

Lewis Black: Casino Strategy

Ive been spending a lot of time in casinos because, apparently, I have a gambling problem. But I have learned something important to pass on to you about how to deal with casinos when youre there. Go get $100 in quarters when you arrive. Then, go to your room, lock the door; go to the bathroom and lock the door. Then, take the quarters and flush them one by one by one. And the nice thing about that is so often the toilet will back up and you will feel like a winner.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 08 November 2011
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (13)

The Magic Miror

Three girls live together. Melissa is a born leader and smart. Kayla is very pretty and popular. Jessica is dumb. One day Melissa says to Kayla and Jessica," I think we should get a miror." Kayla and Jessica Agree. They go down to the trift shop and Melissa see's a beautiful miror with a goldon trim. All of the girls love the miror. Melissa goes up to the store keeper and asks to see the miror. The store keeper replies, "I can't sell you that miror. There is a curse that says if anyone says a lie while looking in it they will disapear for ever!" Melissa didn't belive in this and went up to the mirror and said," I think i have the pretties shoes in this store!" And POOF! She disaperes. Then Kayla goes up to the miror and says, " I think I have the pretties shirt in the whole world!" And POOF! She disapears! Then Jessica goes up to the mirror and says, "I think..." POOF! She disapears!
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 08 November 2011
  • Currently 5.08/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (12)

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