Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 18 June 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 18 June 2014
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (73)

What did the zero say to the e...

What did the zero say to the eight? I like your belt!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 6.20/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (10)

“When Australian shee...

“When Australian sheep get lost, they bleat around the bush.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.20/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (5)

Funny video of the day - Ultimate Football/Soccer Fails 2014

Ultimate Football/Soccer Fails 2014 - If you are watching the FIFA World Cup, you may never see fails as funny as these! - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.38/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (8)

Fooling Around

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, George's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she's a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot."
"Susan is actually your half sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her." George was brokenhearted.
After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June." Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Diane is your half sister too, George.
"I'm awfully sorry about this." George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared.
"Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half sister."
"Hee hee," his mother chuckled, shaking her head, "Don't pay any attention to what he says. He's not really your father."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

Baseball Field

What goes all the way around a baseball field but never moves?

The fence

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 7.14/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (7)

Funny Photo of the day - Watching football while laying down

Watching football while laying down - Requires extra TV tuning | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (8)

What a talent....

A family was visiting an Indian reservation when they happened upon an old tribesman lying face down in the middle of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop.

The father of the family asked the old tribeman what he was doing. The tribesman began to speak..."woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog in late model, white, four-door station wagon, traveling at 65 m.p.h.

"That's amazing!" exclaimed the father. "You can tell all that just by listening to the ground?"

"No," said the old tribesman, weakly. "They just ran over me five minutes ago!"

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (4)

Fight Competition


The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS.
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.
The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read... Main entrance.

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.22/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (9)

Who is the mysterious person i...

Who is the mysterious person in the picture?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

The National Game warden put o...

The National Game warden put out a warning to all hikers in his area. Warning that they should wear small bells on their boots so not to startle the bears. To distinguish the grizzly bear the notice read-- small bears droppings are small with nut and berries in it. Grizzly bear droppings are much larger with nuts and berries and little tiny bells in it.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 09 January 2012
  • Currently 4.44/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (9)

Wrinkled

What's wrinkled and hangs out your underwear?

Your mother.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 26 October 2009
  • Currently 3.14/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (7)

A Birthday Wish

Little Sonia was shouting her prayers. "Please God send me a new doll for my birthday."
Her mother, overhearing this, said, "Don't shout dear, God isn't deaf."
"No, but Grandad is, and he's in the next room," Sonia replied.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 18 June 2010
  • Currently 4.56/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (39)

Chuck Norris is the reason why...

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 18 June 2011
  • Currently 3.06/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (32)

I Want To Appeal A Case

Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client’s case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."
Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"
Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."

#joke #short #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 18 June 2011
  • Currently 4.94/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (31)

Failed driving test

Q: Why did the blonde fail her driving test?

A: Because she was not used to being in the front seat.

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 18 June 2009
  • Currently 3.97/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (31)

Surfing The Internet


Surfin' the Net

So I think I'm in the clear

the boss is no where in sight

I logon to the web and start to surf

and then my hair stands up with fright


the footsteps coming down the hall

are quickening in pace

there is no time to exit

no way to save my face


so I press the power button

and relax just a bit

there is no way he can tell

exactly what I hit


I act all surprised

don't know why my machine died

"simply unpredictable these

computers are!" I cried


"So we'll get you a new one

a computer that won't crash" he exclaims

Do you think he'll wonder

when the new one acts the same?





#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 18 June 2008
  • Currently 2.87/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (30)

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