Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 27 September 2017

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 27 September 2017
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (1822)

Grammar Kills

The village blacksmith hired an enthusiastic new apprentice willing to work long, hard hours.
He instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil.
When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.”
The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he’s the new village blacksmith.

#joke
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

During a simulated attack, the

During a simulated attack, the troops have to defend themselves against an imaginary enemy, as the sergeant calls it. Bawling out orders, he notices that one recruit shows little response. "You there," the sergeant shouts, "the imaginary enemy is advancing, and your are caught in the crossfire. Action!"
The recruit takes ten steps to one side.
"What are you doing, man?" Yells the sergeant, purple with fury.
"I'm taking shelter behind an imaginary hill, Sergeant," answers the recruit calmly.
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.67/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (6)

“In the Episcopalian

“In the Episcopalian church, erring canons cannot be defrocked - they can only be fired.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

I love Frog TV. It's jus

I love Frog TV. It's just so ribbiting.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

Is There a Doctor in the House?

The wife of a Las Vegas doctor telephoned a local casino and asked to have her husband paged.

"Sorry, Madam," came the reply, "but the house does not make doctor calls."

#joke #short #doctor
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Jesus Visits After the Resurrection

This story cannot be found in the scriptures, but it is told that after his resurrection, Jesus appeared to an old fisherman. "I am Jesus and I have returned to show God's love and power.""No, you're not Jesus. Go away! You're scaring all the fish," answered the old fisherman. "I see you are full of doubt. What would you have me do to show who I am?" "Walk across the river," the old fisherman tells Jesus. Jesus starts walking across the river, but he sinks and disappears under the water. After he swims back to shore, the old fisherman says to him, "See, you're not Jesus. You can't walk on water!" Jesus responds, "Well, I used to be able to do it, but then I got these holes in my feet!" From EasterHumor.com
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 27 February 2017
  • Currently 5.08/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (12)

Which is a winning combination of digits?

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

 Indian Having Children


An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred. Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys. "Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?" The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 04 April 2016
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

Once there was a little boy th...

Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter and stank all the time.The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek. One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and started pushing. Finally,the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away. That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper.Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why.
The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today.It was you, wasn't it son?"
The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."
The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 28 December 2014
  • Currently 8.77/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (26)

When in a bar, you can order a...

When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 27 September 2011
  • Currently 2.85/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (40)

Bare back...

An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down.

An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.

The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, the Indian let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'yahoo' and rode off.

'What did you do to get that Indian so excited?' asked the service station attendant.

'Nothing,' shrugged the woman, 'I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.'

'Lady,' the attendant said, 'Indians ride bareback...'

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 27 September 2011
  • Currently 6.15/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (34)

Marriage And Man

Man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 27 September 2013
  • Currently 6.64/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (25)

“Vertical living is f...

“Vertical living is flat dwelling.”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 27 September 2013
  • Currently 4.32/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (19)

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