Jokes of the day for Saturday, 27 October 2018

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 27 October 2018
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (1023)

Three Little Ducks go into a B

Three Little Ducks go into a Bar...
"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.
"Huey," was the rely.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?"
"Oh, that's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer back fro the second duck.
"So, how's your day been, Dewey?", he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?"
The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?"
"No," she said, batting her eyelashes. "My name is Puddles."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

After an examination, the doct

After an examination, the doctor said to his elderly patient:'You appear to be in good health.. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?'
'In fact, I do.' said the old man. "After my wife and I have sex, I'm usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sexwith her the second time, I'm usually hot and sweaty."
When the doctor examined his elderly wife a short time later he said,'Everything appears to be fine.. Are there any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?'
The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns. The doctor then said to her: 'Your husband mentioned anunusual problem.. He claimed that he was usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time;and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you have any idea about why?'
"Oh, that crazy old bastard'' she replied. 'That's because the first time is usually in January, and the second time is in August.
#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

 Yo Mama So Slow...

Yo mama so slow it takes her a hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes!
#joke #short #yomama
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Nuns on the Highway

A cop pulls over a car full of nuns. The cop says, “Sister, the speed limit on this highway is 55 mph. Why are you going so slow?”Sister replies, “I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55.”The copy says, “Sister, that’s the name of the highway, not the speed limit.”“Silly me,” the embarrassed nun says. “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll be more careful.”But then the copy glances in the back seat where the other nuns are quaking with fear. He asks, “Excuse me, Sister, what’s wrong with your friends?”Sister says, “Oh, we just got off Highway 101.”
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Silence is Golden

Silence is golden...
Unless you have children...
If that is the case, silence is suspicious.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 8.36/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (14)

“When the doctor said

“When the doctor said I had a problem with my patella I had a knee jerk reaction.”

#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

Find number abc

If bbaa7 + 9a6ca = bc6c5b find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

What happened?

A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, magnificent house, big car, the love of beautiful woman, then, POW! It was all gone!"

"What happened?," asked the friend.

"My wife found out..."

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 02 November 2015
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (4)

A sweet little boy surprised h...

A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and he was so proud. Anxiously, he waited to hear the verdict. The grandmother in all her life had never had such a bad cup of coffee. As she forced down the last sip, his grandmother noticed three of those little green army guys were in the bottom of the cup.

She asked, "Honey, why would three of your little army men be in the bottom of my cup?"

Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV. 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup'."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 27 October 2009
  • Currently 5.28/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (50)

Divorce Letter

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good…!!! I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, the first thing that came to mind was “You look just like a girl!” but my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your silk boxers were $49.99… After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed: Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 27 October 2011
  • Currently 5.12/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (42)

ID?

An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?"

The driver says," ' Bout what?"

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Calamjo

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 27 October 2012
  • Currently 4.94/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (18)

If you want a list of Chuck No...

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 27 October 2011
  • Currently 4.89/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (18)

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