Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 15 October 2019

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 15 October 2019
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

Furniture store

A furniture store keeps calling me

All I wanted was one night stand

Photo by Di_An_h on Unsplash

#joke #short #pun
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

Tim Conway's Elephant Story

 

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

Term paper

“Handing in his term paper on water bears a day late got Bruno a tardy grade.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 3.44/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (9)

A New Machine

Went to the gym and there's a new machine.
I used it for an hour and felt sick.
Its good though, it does everything.
Kit Kats, Mars bars, Snickers, etc...

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

 Knock Knock Collection 008


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Alice!
Alice who?
I'm Alice chasing rainbows....!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Alison!
Alison who?
Alison it's dark outside!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Allan!
Allan who!
Allan-d of Manhattan!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Allegra!
Allegra who?
Allegra is broken!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Alli!
Alli who?
Alligator, that's who!

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 01 October 2018
  • Currently 1.50/10

Rating: 1.5/10 (8)

Talking clock

While proudly showing off his new fraternity house to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.

"That's the talking clock", the man replied, with a grin. "Let me show you how it works!" And with that, he gave the gong an ear-shattering pound with the hammer.

Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! IT'S 2 AM!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 20 October 2016
  • Currently 5.46/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (13)

Calculate the number 7386

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 7386 using numbers [1, 9, 6, 6, 48, 827] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Name plates

Three young women were hired by an insurance company on the same day.

A year later the boss said each of them was due for a promotion, and that each woman would get her own office with her name on the door.

One day one of the women came in and found to her surprise that the other women had already moved into their own offices.

Going to her boss's office, she asked when her own office would be provided.

He pulled back his chair from his desk and unzipped his fly. "See this?" he asked, "This is quality, and in this company, quality goes in before the name goes on."

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Glaci

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 15 October 2011
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (81)

Mr. Clean is really Chuck Norr...

Mr. Clean is really Chuck Norris with a shaved head and an ear-ring.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 15 October 2011
  • Currently 2.95/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (44)

Doing 3 knots!

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks for old times sake.

He hires a prostitute, takes her up to a room and goes at it as best as he can for a guy his age.

After a couple of minutes he asks, "How am I doing?"

The prostitute replies, "Well sailor, you're doing about three knots."

"Three knots?" He asks. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in and you're knot getting your money back."

Submitted by Calamjo

Edited by Curtis

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 15 October 2010
  • Currently 5.13/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (40)

Strange People Are Here

There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in.
After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son was doing in his new life.
'I'm fine, ' Angus said. 'But there are some really strange people living in these apartments. One woman cried all day long, another lies on her floor moaning, and there is a guy next door to me who bangs his head on the wall all the time.'
'Well, ma laddie,' says his mother, 'I suggest you don't associate with people like that.'
'Oh,' says Angus, 'I don't, Mam, I don't. No, I just stay inside my apartment all day and night, playing my bagpipes.'
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 15 October 2016
  • Currently 8.89/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (37)

Ted Alexandro: Future Wife

Im single. I often think about my future wife and how lax shes been about getting in touch with me.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 15 October 2011
  • Currently 5.77/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (30)

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