Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 22 April 2020

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 22 April 2020
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

BP sponsored a concert in the

BP sponsored a concert in the Gulf of Mexico aka, Oil a Pollutesza
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

“A surgeon who does a

“A surgeon who does a cut-rate operation is a cheap doctor.”

#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.57/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (14)

Boxing Bet

A guy bet against his friend who was boxing but his friend won.
"You bet against me?!" his friend asked.
"Yeah, but you double crossed me and decided to actually win this time!"

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 2.18/10

Rating: 2.2/10 (11)

A police officer responded to...

A police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance.
The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the officer and the "Heavy Weight Boxing Champion of the World."
Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist too, probably better than Houdini."
The giant nodded.
"If I had some chains," the officer continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?"
Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes.
"I can't get out of these," the giant growled.
"Are you sure?" the officer asked.
The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it."
"In that case," said the officer, "you're under arrest."
#joke #policeman
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 25 October 2017
  • Currently 6.91/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (22)

Nothing personal....

"I hope you didn't take it personally, Reverend," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon."

"I did find it rather disconcerting," the preacher replied.

"It's not a reflection on you," insisted the church goer. "Ralph has been been walking in his sleep since childhood."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 01 May 2017
  • Currently 8.92/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (13)

Judge Has Some Fun

A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered "It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD."
The drunk promptly fainted.
The court bailiff commenced to reviving the man, and looked up at the judge, at which time the judge shrugged and responded "I've always wanted to do that."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 28 September 2015
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

What has a face and arms but n...

What has a face and arms but no nose, ears, mouth, eyes, or body?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

The professor of a contract la

The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"
The student replied, "Here's an orange."
The professor was outraged. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!"
The student then replied, "Okay. I'd tell him `I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding...'"
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 16 July 2015
  • Currently 8.60/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (10)

A man took his wife to the rod...

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
"This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year. " The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's rib, said, "That's once a day.You could REALLY learn something from this one."
The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 22 April 2015
  • Currently 8.63/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (30)

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl stri...

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 22 April 2011
  • Currently 3.76/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (29)

Blondes working on a house

Two blondes were working on a house. The one

who was nailing down siding would reach into

his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss

it over his shoulder or nail it in. The other,

figuring this was worth looking into, asked,

"Why are you throwing those nails away?"

The first explained, "If I pull a nail out

of my pouch and it's pointed toward me, I throw

it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed

toward the house, then I nail it in!"

The second blonde got completely upset and

yelled, "You moron! The nails pointed toward

you aren't defective! They're for the other side

of the house!"

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 22 April 2013
  • Currently 4.64/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (25)

But officer...

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

"But officer." the man began, "I can explain".

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back..."

"But officer, I just wanted to say...."

"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 22 April 2017
  • Currently 8.29/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (24)

Demetri Martin: Thought You Were Someone Else

I was walking down the street, and this guy waved to me. Then he came up to me and said, Im sorry, I thought you were someone else. I said, I am.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 22 April 2012
  • Currently 3.05/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (22)

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