Jokes of the day for Thursday, 23 April 2020

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 23 April 2020
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Why does milk rong

Why does milk explore interstellar space when ingested by a seagull?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 1.67/10

Rating: 1.7/10 (6)

Book now for the lec...

“Book now for the lecture on the expanding universe because space is limited.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

You Might Be A Redneck If 68


You might be a reneck if...
You can chew your own toenails.
You've ever used an inner-tube patch on your jeans.
You want the opening day of deer hunting season to be declared a national holiday.
Someone knocks on your front door and your back door rattles.
You let goldenrod grow in your yard because it looks so pretty.
You've ever absent-mindedly nibbled on your live bait . . . and didn't spit it out.
Your best Sunday clothes include your John Deere baseball cap.
You go to a wedding or any formal party and ask someone to pull your finger.
Your friend tells you he went online last night, and you think he took a drunk driving test.
Your mama has more tattoos than you do.
#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.83/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (12)

Rabbits vs. Wolves

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of hungry wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket.
After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it, or should we stay here for a few days and out number them?"

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 8.23/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (13)

To impress his date, the young

To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chic Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered.
"We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said.
"Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That's the owner."
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 03 February 2020
  • Currently 4.08/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (13)

Nothing personal....

"I hope you didn't take it personally, Reverend," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon."

"I did find it rather disconcerting," the preacher replied.

"It's not a reflection on you," insisted the church goer. "Ralph has been been walking in his sleep since childhood."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 01 May 2017
  • Currently 8.92/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (13)

Calculate the number 965

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 965 using numbers [2, 9, 3, 6, 78, 622] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

The professor of a contract la

The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"
The student replied, "Here's an orange."
The professor was outraged. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!"
The student then replied, "Okay. I'd tell him `I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding...'"
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 16 July 2015
  • Currently 8.60/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (10)

Brian Posehn: Quitting Meat

Quitting pot? It was actually easier for me to become a vegetarian -- you know, quitting meat -- because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of meat.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 23 April 2011
  • Currently 3.79/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (48)

Mommy Mommy 03


Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere?
Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!


Mommy, Mommy! Grandma's got a bruise.
Shut up and eat around it!


Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs?
Shut up and eat your cornflakes!


Mommy, Mommy! What's in those CARE packages they send to Africa?
Shut up and get back in the box!


Mommy, Mommy! The teacher says I look like a monkey!
Shut up and comb your face!

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 23 April 2011
  • Currently 2.62/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (47)

Miracle whip

Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?

A: Miracle Whip.

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Glaci

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 23 April 2011
  • Currently 4.19/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (42)

A Special Night in Iowa

Q: What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?
A: Prom.

#joke #short #friday
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 23 April 2013
  • Currently 4.53/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (36)

Subway Party

Two small-town merchants were visiting New York City for the first time to attend a conference.

There was a large party thrown, with lots of food and drink. At the end of the party, they both staggered outside.

One guy crossed the street, while the other stumbled into a subway entrance.

When the 1st guy reached the other side of the street, he noticed the other emerging from the subway stairs.

"Where ya been?"

he slurred.

"I don't know," gushed the other guy, "but you should see the train set that guy has in his basement!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 23 April 2012
  • Currently 6.13/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (30)

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