Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 02 February 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 02 February 2021
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

A man has been in hospital for

A man has been in hospital for a month. One day, he's so sick and tired of being in hospital that he sneaks out and down to the nearest pub. He orders a beer and swallows the lot in ten seconds flat. He then orders a second beer and does the same. Then a third and a fourth.
As he orders a fifth beer, he says to the barman, "I shouldn't be drinking this with what I've got."
The barman gasps in alarm, "What have you got?" To which the hospital patient replies, "I've got no money."
#joke #beer
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (19)

Dublin Ushers

What do you call a wedding usher in Dublin Ireland?
An Irish sitter!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

There were three little boys v...

There were three little boys visiting their grandparents.
The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, "Can you make a sound like a frog, Grandpappy?
Grandpa (being in a kind of ill mood) responds, "No, I don't really want to make the sound of a frog now."
So, the second little boy comes out and asks his grandfather, "Will you please make a sound like a frog?"
Grandpa again says, "No, not now. I don't really want to do that.I'm in a grumpy mood. Maybe later."
Then the third little boy comes out and says, "Grandpa, oh please...Please, please will you make a sound like a frog?"
"Why do all of you boys want me to make a sound like a frog?" Grandpa asked.
The little boy replied with a hopeful face, "Well, Mom said that when you croak we get to go to Disney World!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 02 February 2015
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (21)

Nuns confession

A guy is riding the bus when at a stop, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen gets on. The only problem is that she is a nun.

He decides to approach her anyway. "Sister, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I must have sex with you." he says.

"I'm sorry but I've given my body to God" she replies and then leaves.

Suddenly the bus driver turns around to the guy and says "I know a way you can get her in the sack."

The bus driver tells the guy about how the nun goes to confessional everyday at 3 in the afternoon. The bus driver tells the guy his plan and the guy leaves happy knowing he's going to get some.

The next day at 3 the guy is in the booth dressed as a priest. When the nun approaches in the darkness he says "Sister, God has told me I must have sex with you."

She replies "Well if God has said it, we must do it. However because of my strong commitment to God I will only take it up the ass."

The guy figures this isn't a problem and proceeds to have the best sex ever. After it is over he whips off his outfit and says "Surprise I'm the guy on the bus"

With that the nun turns around and says "Surprise I'm the bus driver."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 02 February 2009
  • Currently 5.55/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (38)

Invisible

A psychiatrist's secretary walked into his study and said, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible."

The psychiatrist responded, "Tell him I can't see him."

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 02 February 2017
  • Currently 8.39/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (31)

Coffee Breaks

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?

A: It

takes too long to retrain them.

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 02 February 2010
  • Currently 4.78/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (27)

Find number abc

If 76acc - 10ba3 = 663ab find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Refrigerator Man

A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, ''Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband -- he thinks he's a refrigerator!''

''I wouldn't worry too much about it,'' the doctor replies. 'Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.''

''But you don't understand,'' the woman insists. ''He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake.''

#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 02 February 2011
  • Currently 5.15/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (26)

Why did the dude only smell go...

Why did the dude only smell good on the right side? He didn't know where to buy Left Guard!
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 02 February 2009
  • Currently 3.76/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (25)

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