Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 10 December 2008
  • Currently 9.58/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (103)

The divorce judge asked Little...

The divorce judge asked Little Johnny which parent he wanted to live with.

Little Johnny replied, "Not my daddy, he beats me...Not my mommy, either; she beats me, too."

Little Johnny thought for a minute, then exclaimed, "I know! I want to live with the New Orleans Saints! They don't beat anybody!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 5.20/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (5)

Are you an honest lawyer...

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. She began to interview young lawyers.

"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an honest lawyer?"

"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 6.83/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (6)

Why did the tightrope walker g...

Why did the tightrope walker got to the bank?
To check his balance
Graeme Fraser, Marchmont

Why do cows lie down when it's raining?
To keep each udder dry.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (8)

Scrabble (or People with...

Scrabble (or People with a Lot of Time on Their Hands

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE

#joke
Joke | Source: http://www.webwombat.com.au/ - Jokes: Joke of the Day
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (4)

Do you know there's a harsh pu...

Do you know there's a harsh punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Knock Knock Collection 080


Knock Knock

Who's there?

Hal!

Hal who?

Hal about Eve!


Knock Knock

Who's there?

Haley!

Haley who?

Haleyen Nation!


Knock Knock

Who's there?

Halibut!

Halibut who?

Haliburt a kiss sweetheart!


Knock Knock

Who's there?

Halifax!

Halifax who?

Halifax you if you fax me!


Knock Knock

Who's there?

Handel!

Handel who?

Handel with care!





#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.60/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (5)

Find a famous person

Find the first and the last name of a famous person. Text may go in all 8 directions. Length of words in solution: 4,7.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

An Unusual Prayer

Little Anne had been exceedingly naughty and during the

dinner hour she was forced to eat alone in the corner at a

card table. When everyone was seated, Father bowed his head

and gave thanks.

Then little Anne gravely bowed her head and said "Thank You

Dear Lord, for preparing a table before me in the presence of

my enemies."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 6.25/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (4)

A manager brings a dog ...

A manager brings a dog into a nightclub to work.
The dog is a brilliant piano player.  He plays all the
standards.  He's sitting there, pounding out the tunes,
when all of a sudden, a big dog comes in and drags him
out.  The nightclub owner asks, “What happened?”

The manager says,
“That's his mother.  She wants him to be a doctor.”

#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Joke of the day - Jokes of the day on Wordpress
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (33)

Seen in ...

Seen in real CVs:

"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."

"I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."

"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

"I was working for my mum until she decided to move."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 03 October 2008
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

A duck walks into a drugstore ...

A duck walks into a drugstore and says to the Pharmacist "gee, can you help me out. I need to buy some prophylactics but I forgot my wallet."

The Pharmacist replies "no problem, I'll just put them on your bill."

The Duck responds "gee Doc, that is not the way I planned to use them!"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 28 August 2008
  • Currently 5.91/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (11)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.