Jokes of the day for Thursday, 11 December 2008

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 11 December 2008
  • Currently 9.53/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (102)

A young blonde girl goes to th...

A young blonde girl goes to the doctor for a physical.

The doctor puts his stethoscope up to the girl's chest and says, 'Big breaths...'

The girl replies, 'Yeth and I'm not even thixteen.'
#joke #short #blonde #doctor
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 6.20/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (5)

Wisdom...

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.

Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.

"Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.

Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.

One of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."

The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (10)

A Cut Above The Rest

...

A Cut Above The Rest

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention.

She went back to find out what was going on.

He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do.

He returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.

The teacher went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your Mum!" she said.

"I did," he said, "And she told me if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up!"

#joke
Joke | Source: http://www.webwombat.com.au/ - Jokes: Joke of the Day
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (6)

A man put an advertisement in ...

A man put an advertisement in the classifieds: "Wife Wanted." The next day he got a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (3)

What Will You Do For Golf?


Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued:

First Guy: "Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."

Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"

Fourth Guy: "I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say that the foundation for the new house is being poured next Tuesday."





#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 6.67/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (3)

Trust

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial --it went like this:

Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?

A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q: Officer, who provided this description?

A: The officer who responded to the scene.

Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?

A: Yes sir, with my life.

Q: WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer--do you have a locker room in the police station--a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?

A: Yes sir, we do.

Q: And do you have a locker in that room?

A: Yes sir, I do.

Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?

A: Yes sir.

Q: Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers?

A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room.

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 5.11/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (9)

What hides this stereogram?

Stereogram - 3D Image
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Why did the tightrope walker g...

Why did the tightrope walker got to the bank?
To check his balance
Graeme Fraser, Marchmont

Why do cows lie down when it's raining?
To keep each udder dry.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (8)

A manager brings a dog ...

A manager brings a dog into a nightclub to work.
The dog is a brilliant piano player.  He plays all the
standards.  He's sitting there, pounding out the tunes,
when all of a sudden, a big dog comes in and drags him
out.  The nightclub owner asks, “What happened?”

The manager says,
“That's his mother.  She wants him to be a doctor.”

#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Joke of the day - Jokes of the day on Wordpress
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (33)

An elderly couple was driving ...

An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol.

Ma'am, did you know you were speeding? the officer said.

The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, What did he say?

He said you were speeding! the old man yelled.

The patrolman then asked, "May I see your license?"

The woman turned to her husband again, "What did he say?"

The old man yelled back, "He wants to see your license!"

The woman then gave the officer her license.

I see you are from Arkansas, the patrolman said. "I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."

The woman turned to her husband again and asked, "What did he say?"

The old man replied, "He said he knows you!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 29 August 2008
  • Currently 3.43/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (7)

Seen in ...

Seen in real CVs:

"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."

"While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility."

"Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

"Interests: Donating blood. 14 gallons so far."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 28 July 2008
  • Currently 6.57/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (14)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.