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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
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Jokes of the day for Sunday, Feb the 15th 2009
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Zip, Dick and Pea |
There were three boys in a classroom: one named Zip, one named Dick, and one named Pea. Their teacher leaves the room for a moment, so Zip gets on top of the cupboard, Dick goes inside the cupboard, and Pee jumps around outside.
The teacher returns and yells, Zip down, Dick out, and Pea in the corner! |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 4.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Senior Birth Control |
| An elderly woman went into the doctor`s office. When the
doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I`d like to
have some birth-control pills."
Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said,
"Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you`re 72 years old. What
possible use could you have for birth control pills?"
The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."
The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the
world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"
The woman said, "Simple, I put them in my granddaughter`s
orange juice every morning and I sleep better at night." |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 5.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Bee Jokes 04 |
Q: Why do bees buzz?
A: Because they can't whistle!
Q: Can bees fly in the rain?
A: Not without their little yellow jackets!
Q: Why did the bee started talking poetry?
A: He was waxing lyrical!
Q: What goes zzub, zzub?
A: A bee flying backwards!
Q: What are the cleverest bees?
A: Spelling bees!
Q: What bee is good for your health?
A: Vitamin bee!
Q: What's a bees favorite novel?
A: The Great Gats-bee!
Q: What do you get if you cross a bee with a door bell?
A: A hum dinger!
Q: How many bees do you need in a bee choir?
A: A humdred!
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 7.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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| Teacher: If you found a bill worth a hundred, would you keep it? Pupil: No, sir. Teacher: Good, what would you do with it? Pupil: Sir, Ill spend it. |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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A stage.... |
During a performance for the high school talent show at the local theater, a hole was cracked in the stage floor. Subsequent acts managed to avoid the damaged area until little Freddy, juggling bowling pins, accidentally stepped through the hole up to his knee.
He apologized to the audience for his clumsiness. But a heckler in the back of the theater shouted:
"Don't worry, Freddy! It's just a stage you're going through!" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 2.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
Wife: Oh, come on.
Husband: Leave me alone!
Wife: It won't take long.
Husband: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.
Wife: I can't sleep without it.
Husband: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?
Wife: Because I'm Hot.
Husband: You get hot at the darnest times.
Wife: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.
Husband: If you love me you'd be more considerate.
Wife: You don't love me anymore.
Husband: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.
Wife: (Sob-Sob)
Husband: All right, I'll do it.
Wife: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?
Husband: I can't find it.
Wife: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!
Husband: There! Are you satisfied?
Wife: Oh, yes, honey.
Husband: Is it down far enough?
Wife: Oh, that's fine.
Husband: Now go to sleep. The next time, it's your turn to get up and turn the thermostat down.
Wife: Yes, honey. |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Belly Buttons Explained
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Q: How do babies get their belly buttons?
A: When God finishes making little babies, He lines them all up in a row. Then he walks along in front of them. He pokes each one in the tummy with His finger and says, “You’re done…you’re done…you’re done…” |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 6.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Women Drivers |
| This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 75 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
Two kids are talking one day.
One asks the other, "What does your father do?"
"He's a lawyer."
"Honest?," the first asks incredulously
"No, just a regular lawyer." |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 7.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
| There was once a man who lived in a poor country. He went to law school and became a very intelligent person. Years later, he decided to go back to his country to show them how worthy he is. He started his own office. The next day, he saw a man walking into his office. He picked up the phone and gestered the man to come in and pretended he was talking to very famous people and cancelling meetings with presidents, etc. After he put down the phone several minutes later, he apologized to the man and said, "Sorry to keep you waiting. As you can see, I'm a very busy man. What can I do for you?" The man smiled and said, "I'm from the telephone company. I'm here to hook up you phone." |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 6.7/10 (7 votes cast) |
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters." |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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