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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Thursday, Jun the 4th 2009
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Good News and Bad News |
A guy is in the hospital with two broken legs. The nurse comes in and tells him that theres good news and bad news.
The guy asks for the bad news first.
The nurse says, Were going to have to remove your legs.
Then the guy asks for the good news.
The nurse says, The guy beside you wants to buy your sneakers. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Army Of The Lord |
| A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is, to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service." |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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New Yorkers Arrived |
One day at the entrance to heaven, St. Peter saw a New York street gang.
walk up to the Pearly Gates. This being a first, St. Peter ran to God and said, "God,
there are some evil, thieving New Yorkers at the Pearly Gates. What do I do?".
God replied, "Just do what you normally do with that type. Re-direct them down to hell."
St. Peter went back to carry out the order and all of a sudden he comes running back yelling "God, God, they're gone, they're gone!"
"Who, the New Yorkers?".
"No, the Pearly Gates."
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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A young man, chewing a sweet, went into a jeweller's shop to buy an engagement ring.
Jeweller: "18 carats?"
Customer: "No! Humbugs!"
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Fool in love... |
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it." |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
Two terrorists are chatting. One of them has his wallet out and is flipping through pictures.
"Yeah, this is my oldest. He's a martyr. Here's my second son. He's a martyr, too."
...There's a pause...
The second terrorist says, wistfully, "Ah, they blow up so fast, don't they?" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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| A young woman walks into a doctor's office complaining about a rash on her chest. Upon examination, the doctor discovers the rash is in the shape of a 'Y'. The doctor asks the woman if she can think of anything which might explain it. "Well," the woman replies, "it could be my boyfriend. You see, he goes to Yale and when we have sex he insists on wearing his letter sweater." The doctor tells the woman to make her boyfriend take off the sweater before they have sex. Later that same day another woman comes in with a rash on her chest, this one in the shape of an 'H'. When questioned, the woman explains that her boyfriend goes to Harvard and insists on wearing his letter sweater when they have sex. The doctor gives the second woman the same advice as the first and sends he on her way. Later yet another woman comes into the office with a rash in the shape of an 'M'. Before the woman can explain, the doctor exclaims, "I bet your boyfriend goes to Michigan!" A smile breaks across the woman's face as she exclaims, "No! My girlfriend goes to Wesleyan!" |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 6.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
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"Caution! I stop for gnomes, elves, pixies, unicorns, leprechauns, faeries, dragons, and other mystical creatures only I can see." |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
Q: How can you tell when a woman is about to say something intelligent?
A: She starts out with, "A man once said...." |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
A blonde's car gets a flat tyre on the Interstate one day So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road.
She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She then takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers...
Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn't very long before a police car arrives.
The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"
"My car broke down, Officer" says the woman, calmly.
"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?!" asks the Officer...
"Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!" she replies |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 6.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
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Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 5.9/10 (9 votes cast) |
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How She Got the Raise |
| A Mexican maid asked her boss for a pay increase. |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Free GPS tracking service for mobile devices that allows you to track any cell phone with built-in GPS (or with Bluetooth GPS receiver) in real time - partner of the jokes of the day
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Travel photos
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Travel Photos Of Places - collection of photos from all around the world - frend of the jokes of the day
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