JOKES OF THE DAY

next to a younger man. He noticed that the young man had a

strange kind of shirt collar. Having never seen a priest

before, he asked the man, "Excuse me sir, but why do you have

your shirt collar on

backwards?"

The priest became a bit flustered but politely answered "I

wear this collar because I am a Father."

The Jewish man thought a second and responded "Sir I am also

a Father but I wear my collar front-ways. Why do you wear

your collar so differently?"

The priest thought for a minute and said "Sir, I am the

father for many."

The Jewish man quickly answered "I too am the father of

many. I have four sons, four daughters and too many

grandchildren to count. But I wear my collar like everyone

else does. Why do you wear it your way?"

The priest who was beginning to get exasperated thought and

then blurted out "Sir, I am the father for hundreds and

hundreds of people."

The Jewish man was taken aback and was silent for a long

time. As he got up to leave the subway train, he leaned over

to the priest and said "Mister, maybe you should wear your

pants backwards."

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.

"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts. He communicates really well, and I just act as if I'm listening."

Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?
Sheila

Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours, Sheila

A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church.

However, the atheist's life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-natured, whereas the pious man's job was strenuous and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day and his kids wouldn't give him the time of the day.So one day, deep in prayer as usual, the pious man raised his eyes towards heaven and asked: "Oh God, I honor you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbor, who doesn't even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity. Why is this?"

And a great voice was heard from above...

"BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME!"