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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
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Jokes of the day for Monday, Jan the 4th 2010
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NOTE:
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check funny videos and funny photos you have missed due to issue, using << Previous 'jokes of the day' link.
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Laying Back, Watching The Clouds |
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Funny photo of the day Permalink | Source : That will buff out - funny auto escapade
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Cutest Baby Chicks Ever |
| Why do baby chicks say cheap, cheap, cheap? Because they cant say expensive, expensive, expensive! |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 3.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Violin vs Viola |
| What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger. |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Chopping more than wood.... |
A lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out---caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two guys show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for them, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some firewood. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house.
Guests arrive, and all is going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown has not shown up, and finally, the clown calls to report that he is stuck in traffic, and will probably not make the party at all. The woman is very disappointed and unsuccessfully tries to entertain the children herself.
She happens to look out the window and sees one of the guys doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watches in awe as he swings from tree branches, does midair flips, and leaps high in the air. She calls the other guy over and says, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him \$50!"
"Well...," he responds, "I dunno...let me ask him... HEY WILLIE...FOR \$50 WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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Little Johnny was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa"
The cop asked, "What's he like?"
Little Johnny replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big tits" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Church Bulletin Bloopers: Prayers and Illnesses
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Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
Due to the rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: God Is Good--Dr. Hargreaves is better.
This Sunday morning following services we will have our monthly feelowship.
Said during a congregational prayer when leading prayer for unsaved loved ones: “Father, we just want to pray for our unloved saved ones.â€
Lift up our Messianic brothers and sisters in Israel who are suffering during our prayer time.
“I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, even though he diets, yet shall be live.â€
On a church postcard: “I have received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I would like a personal call.â€
Church sign: “Jesus Saves!†Safeway sign across the street: “Safeway saves you more!â€
- Joke shared on Beliefnet's Religious Humor page |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
A little girl asked her father:
"How did the human race appear?"
The father answered, "God made Adam and Eve;
they had children; and so was all mankind made."
Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.
The mother answered,
"Many years ago there were monkeys from
which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her father and said,
"Dad, how is it possible that you told me the
human race was created by God,
and Mom said they developed from monkeys?"
The father answered,
"Well, Dear, it is very simple.
I told you about my side of the family,
and your mother told you about hers."
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Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 7.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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A kindergarten teacher asked: “What is the shape of the earth?”
After a pause a little girl spoke up: “According to my Daddy…terrible!”
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Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
The bride lay in bed on the first night of their honeymoon while her husband stood at the bedroom window, gazing at the stars.
"Come to bed, darling," she whispered after some time had passed.
"Not likely," replied the blonde groom, "my mother told me that this would be the best night of my life and I'm not going to miss a minute of it."
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Permalink | Source : Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
Rating: 7.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
| Navy officers tend to behave admiralbly. |
Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
Rating: 4.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Shopping At The SuperMarket |
A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following:
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single frozen dinner
The checkout guy looks at her, smiles, and says, "Single,huh?"
The girl smiles sheepishly and replies, "How'd you guess?"
He says, "Because you're ugly." |
Permalink | Source : Joke Diary - Really Funny Jokes Daily
Rating: 7.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.
The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hun," he says "how do you like your new phone?"
She replies "I just love, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though."
"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal- Mart?" |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
Rating: 7.1/10 (7 votes cast) |
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Answering Machine Message 128 |
(In a good Australian accent:) G'day mate. Can't come to the phone now because I'm a bit tied up with this crocodile. Just leave a message, and I'll get back to you.
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Pick A Starting Salary #joke #humor |
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The candidate said, "In the neighborhood of \$125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"
And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."
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Permalink | Source : Daily Jokes - A Clean Joke Everyday!
Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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