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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Friday, May the 14th 2010
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Jeff Dunham: Coffee as a Sex-Enhancer? |
| Walter: My wife and I heard that coffee is good for your sex life. Jeff Dunham: Oh, and is it? Walter: No. It kept me awake for the whole damn thing. I actually had to participate! |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 5.9/10 (10 votes cast) |
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I Marked The Spot |
Two friends rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they caught 30 fish. One guy said to his friend,
"Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow."
The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the same guy asked his friend, "Did you mark that spot?"
His friend replied, "Yeah, I put a big 'X' on the bottom of the boat."
The first one said, "You stupid fool! What if we don't get that same boat today!?!?"
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 6.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
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An apple a day.... |
While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, I noticed several pretty nurses, each of whom was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. I asked one nurse what the pin signified. "Nothing," she said with a smile. "It's just to keep the doctors away."
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Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 6.6/10 (5 votes cast) |
"A White House spokesman announced today that Vice President Dick Cheney's recovery is exceeding his doctor's expectations. You know what that means? He's still alive." -- Jay Leno
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Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 3.3/10 (8 votes cast) |
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God Takes a Vacation
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"Hmmm," St. Peter reflected. "Well, how about Mercury?"
"No way!" God muttered. "It's way too hot for me there!"
"I've got it," St. Peter said, his face lighting up. "How about going down to Earth for your vacation?"
Chuckling, God remarked, "Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went there, had an affair with some nice Jewish girl, and they're STILL talking about it!" |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 6.1/10 (11 votes cast) |
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Welfare Dog |
This morning I went to sign my Dog up for welfare. At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare". So I explained to her that my Dog is a mix in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and has no frigging clue who his Daddy is. He expects me to feed him, provide him with housing and medical care, and feel guilty because he is a dog.
So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My Dog gets his first check next Friday.
Damn this is a great country.
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Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 5.6/10 (5 votes cast) |
Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines."
"What did you do?" the other nuns asked.
"Well, of course I threw them in the trash."
The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!"
"Oh my!" gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked.
"I poked holes in all of them!" she replied. The third nun fainted.
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Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 5.0/10 (3 votes cast) |
These bear hunters were sitting around the cabin the night before the hunt bragging about their pass hunts.
The cabin boy was listening and went over and said "you guys make it seam pretty hard on capturing a bear".
They all laughed and said "it is hard; do you think you could bag one"?
"I can go out and bag you 2 if you will skin them, and I will bet each of you \$100.00.
They agreed and off he went out into the night.
Soon he spotted a big grizzly; he waved his arm and started hollering the big bear started after him and he started running for the shack. When he got close to the shack he started yelling. "Open the door he yelled".
They looked out and saw the bear chasing the boy. Just as he got to the door they opened it and he stepped aside and the bear went in. He slammed the door and locked it and shouted. "OK skin him I'll go and get the other one".
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Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 5.4/10 (8 votes cast) |
| I hate math. And when I think about integers divisible by two, I feel even number. |
Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
Rating: 1.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
We noticed that all the waiters in this New York
restaurant carried two spoons in their vest
pocket. Naturally, we were curious. We asked a
waiter why.
'Sir, as a result of an efficiency study by the
management, it was determined that the most
frequently dropped silverware item was a spoon.
Therefore, all the waiters carry two spoons so
that the item can be instantly replaced.'
As he was explaining that we noticed a string
hanging out of the fly of his pants. So, we asked
about that.
'Sir, that's another efficiency study result.
When we have to go to the bathroom, we use the
string to pull ourselves out and aim. Therefore,
we do not have to stop to wash our hands.'
We replied, 'I understand how you can get yourself
out and aim, but how do you get yourself back in.'
'Well,' replied the waiter, 'I don't know about
the other guys, but I use the two spoons!' |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
Rating: 5.3/10 (25 votes cast) |
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