JOKES OF THE DAY

of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when

the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the

store to hear, "Price check on Tampax, supersize please."

As if that was not bad enough, somebody at the rear of the

store misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "thumbtacks."

In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the

intercom, "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb

or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was hopping up and down with rage, complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!" he shrieked.

"You lawyers are so materialistic it's amazing!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

"Oh no...." replied the lawyer, looking down and noticing for the first time the bloody stump where his left arm had once been.

"Where's my Rolex???"

"My life goal is to piss off Brahma so much that I won't need another life goal."

"Well," said the drunk, "it looks like plastic and feels like rubber."

"Let me have it," said the lawyer. Taking it, he began to roll it between his thumb and forefinger, examining it closely. "Yes," he finally said, "it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but i don't know what it is. Where did you get it?"

"From my nose," the drunk replied.