Jokes of the day for Thursday, 21 January 2016

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 21 January 2016
  • Currently 9.57/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (1281)

Dear Pun Gents Dear Pun Gents,
#joke #short

Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

“If you see an improp

“If you see an improperly lowercased letter, you must capitalize on it.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Funny video of the day - Safety Fails and Mishaps Compilation

Safety Fails and Mishaps Compilation - Always wear protection, and if you have a friend who doesn't.. show them this video - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

A guy gets home from work one

A guy gets home from work one night and hears a voice. The voice says, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." The man is disturbed at what he hears and ignores the voice.
The next day when he gets home from work, the same thing happens. The voice tells him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." Again the man ignores the voice, though he is very troubled by the event.
Every day, day after day, the man hears the same voice when he gets home from work, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." Each time the man hears the voice he becomes increasingly upset.
Finally, after two weeks, he succumbs to the pressure. He does quit his job, sells his house, takes his money and heads to Vegas. The moment the man gets off the plane in Vegas, the voice tells him, "Go to Bally's." So, he hops in a cab and rushes over to Bally's.
As soon as he sets foot in the casino, the voice tells him, "Go to the roulette table."
The man does as he is told. When he gets to the roulette table, the voice tells him, "Put all your money on 17."
Nervously, the man cashes in his money for chips and then puts them all on 17. The dealer wishes the man good luck and spins the roulette wheel. The ball goes round and round... The man anxiously watches the ball as it slowly loses speed until finally it settles into number... 21.
The voice says, "Oops!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

Super Sex!!!

A woman, completely fed up with her husband's on-line obsession, finally takes matters into her own hands.

One night, as he is sitting at the computer, she goes into the bedroom, takes off all her clothes, puts on a full length mink coat, and posts herself between her husband and the monitor.

She pulls open the coat and yells, "Time for Super Sex!!!"

He ignores her.

So, she repeatedly yells, "Super Sex", "Super Sex", "Super Sex".

Finally, he replies, "Ok, Ok, I'll take the soup".

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (12)

Funny Photo of the day - Kid has now realized the full potential of the little recliner we got him

Kid has now realized the full potential of the little recliner we got him - I wish I have chair like this | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

 Question And Answer Jokes

Q: What do you get if you put 100 lawyers in your basement?
A: A whine cellar.
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Your honor.
Q: What do you call a judge gone bad?
A: Senator.
Q: Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?
A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Q: When lawyers die, why don't vultures them?
A: Even a vulture has taste.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 10?
A: A lawyer.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?
A: Your honor.
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

What I Learned From Noah

Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark...
ONE: Don't miss the boat.
TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
SIX: Build your future on high ground.
SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.
TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

I am the unreachable boundar...

I am the unreachable boundary, yet the place you wish to go, I run away as you approach. But I am always there. What am I?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

A man was traveling north to D

A man was traveling north to Dallas. He needed to use the bathroom and so at a rest stop he goes into a stall. He sits down and was surprised to hear someone in the next stall say, "So how ya doing?"
The man gulps and thinks about what he should say and then decides to answer. So he clears his throat and says, "uh....I'm fine."
Then the stranger in the next stall says, "So where are you headed?"
Again the man, a little nervous answers, "Uh...I'm headin north to Dallas."
Then the stranger asked, "So what have you been up to?"
Again the man answers, "Not much, I'm actually on a business trip."
The man sat there waiting for another question when finally he heard the stranger in the next stall impatiently say, "Look, I'm going to have to call you back, some idiot in the next stall thinks I'm talking to him."
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

What type of prize did you win?

A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she begins screaming, "I won a motor home! I won a motor home!"

The waitress runs over and argues, "That's impossible. The biggest prize given away was a stero system!"

The blonde replies, "No. I won a motor home!"

By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table, and he too argues, "You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't have that as one of our prizes."

Again the blonde says, "There is no mistake! I won a motor home!"

The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, "WIN A BAGEL."

#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

A blonde goes to her doctor an

A blonde goes to her doctor and says that every time she drinks a coffee her eye hurts. The doctor prepared her a hot, fresh cup of coffee to see what really happens. She took a sip of the coffee and screamed, "Ouch, that hurts!" The doctor said, "I know your problem." The blonde asked, "Is it bad, doctor?" The doctor replied, "No, you just need to take your spoon out of your cup before you drink your coffee."
#joke #blonde #doctor
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Catching Cows

More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance.
"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows."
"I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"    

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 1.80/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (5)

Church Sign Chuckles

Some favorite messages spotted on church signs or billboards, submitted by Beliefnet members:
-Fire Insurance Inside
-This Church Is Prayer Conditioned
-God Answers Knee Mail
-PRAY NOW! Avoid Christmas Rush!
-Sign broken, come inside for message
-This is a ch--ch. What's missing? U R!
-Stop in the name of love and meet the Supreme
-Wal-Mart's not the only savings place
-The best position is on your knees!

#joke #christmas
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 21 January 2010
  • Currently 6.16/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (25)

More Hilarious Al Gore Quotes And Blunders


"I am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat."
-- Vice President Al Gore


"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
-- Vice President Al Gore


"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 5/20/996


"Democrats understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
-- Vice President Al Gore


"Welcome to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my fellow astronauts."
-- Vice President Al Gore


"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
-- Vice President Al Gore


"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
-- Vice President Al Gore


"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have tremendous impact on history."
-- Vice President Al Gore
(Ed note. Hmmmm, anyone in particular come to mind?)


"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."
-- Al Gore


"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Al Gore may or may not make."
-- Vice President Al Gore

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 21 January 2010
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (18)

JB Smoove: Sound System

I did a club one night -- the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 21 January 2012
  • Currently 2.76/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (17)

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