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Short jokes - funny one liners (8041 to 8080)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 8041 to 8080. |
Why do you do that, Mom?
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that, Mom?"
"To make myself beautiful," she answered. She then began to remove the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" Johnny started. "Giving up?"
Very fat
Mr. Bubba : You have also become very fat.
Mrs. Bubba : But I am going to be a mother!
Mr. Bubba: So what? Even I am going to be a father!!
“When I was starving ...
“When I was starving to death, my children gave me a raisin to keep on living.”
A Very Good Reason...
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek.
"I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is, he replied.... "Breakfast."
Q: How many men does it take t...
Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet paper roll?A: No one knows, it's never been done.
“Married hang man wer...
“Married hang man were the best at their job, they knew how to tie the knot.”
Milk and eggs
Little Tommy: Can't think of anyone.
Little Johnny: The grocery store owner, silly!
“My friend's bakery b...
“My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.”
Answering Machine Message 138
Steve is reassembling Elvis' brain and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name...
Short funny jokes-Rebirth
Heard On A Public Bus
Heard on a public transportation vehicle in Orlando.
"When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step."
"If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you."
“Marriage is hard but...
“Marriage is hard but divorce usually goes off without a hitch.”
Obviously Nuts
A guy goes to the psychiatrist only wearing shorts made of Glad wrap.
The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
A man with a bag of Lays potat...
A man with a bag of Lays potato chips taunted Chuck Norris: "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris ate the chips, the bag, and the man.“I tried hard to get ...
“I tried hard to get into vexillology, but, in the end, had to flag it away.”
Really funny jokes-Getting really old
I asked, "What happened'?
Grandpa grumbled, "I went to Kaka's antique auction and four people bid on me!"
“The professor's expl...
“The professor's explanation of centripetal force was pretty down-to-earth but her explanation of centrifugal force just blew me away.”
Mine-sniffing dogs
The Army announced this week they are now training mine-sniffing dogs to go to Iraq.How bad do you have to screw up at obedience school to get that job?
-Jay Leno
“If you accidentally ...
“If you accidentally leave your fly down on a promising date, does that count as a Freudian zip?”
Dog Balls
Q. What do you call a dog that has balls of steel and is dragging them across the cement?
A. Sparky
Long and hard
A last name.
Insult - Sister
May a weird customs inspector discover a secret compartmentin your sister.
-- Johnny Carson
“When the statistics ...
“When the statistics professor and the math professor wrote a cookbook together, they called it 'Pi A La Mode.'”
“A man who cannot rea...
“A man who cannot read the sign that warns people from throwing garbage on the ground is illiterate.”
Men and women
What is the difference between men and women?A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
Job satisfaction
A. Do only so much work that you feel you are paid more than you deserve!