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Jokes of the day for Sunday, 18 May 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 18 May 2014
  • Currently 9.45/10

Rating: 9.4/10 (49)

There are 11 people hanging on...

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.
#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (6)

Wandering Dog

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.
He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep on the couch. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, resumed his position on the couch and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: 'Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'

Wandering Dog 049

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with four children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'

#joke
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (4)

Should have been here sooner!

An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area."

"Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"

#joke
  • Currently 5.60/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (5)

Can I Take His Place?


An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.
An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.
"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.
"Judge Garber has just died" said the attorney, "and I want to take his place."
The governor replied: "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker."

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (5)

Funny Photo of the day - Batman-Themed Hotel Room is Awesome

Batman-Themed Hotel Room is Awesome - This is a Batman-themed hotel room at the Eden Motel, which is located in Kaohsiung City, Taiwan, and it’s filled with furnishings bearing the Dark Knight’s insignia and signature colors. | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Dickens and the Mart

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.

The bartender asks, “Olive or twist?”

#joke #short #walksintoabar
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (5)

Dog Days

What do you get when you cross a dog with a telephone?

A golden receiver!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.60/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (5)

FLEX WORDLE

FLEX WORDLE Guess the WORDLE in 3 tries. After each guess, the color of the tiles will change to show how close your guess was to the solution.
Source: Genius Brain Teasers - Jokes Of The Day Partner

“An embrace at a nudi...

“An embrace at a n*dist colony is a bare hug.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 3.56/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (9)

As the plane was flying low ov...

As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: "What's that stuff on those hills?"


"Just snow," replied the stewardess.


"That's what I thought," said the lady, "but this fellow in front of me said it was Greece."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Aha! Jokes - Clean Jokes and Funny Pictures! Joke of the day daily
  • Currently 6.13/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (46)

Chuck Norris doesn't fly throu...

Chuck Norris doesn't fly through the air, the air moves out of his way.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 25 December 2011
  • Currently 6.60/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (15)

What Is This?

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says:
- What is this, a joke?

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 18 May 2011
  • Currently 4.83/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (36)

Chuck Norris can drink an enti...

Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 18 May 2011
  • Currently 2.52/10

Rating: 2.5/10 (65)

What's white and if it fell ou...

What's white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A fridge.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 18 May 2010
  • Currently 4.24/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (45)

Owen Benjamin: Public Restrooms for Guys

Its not an enjoyable place. We get a urinal; we dont get real estate. Its a little, creepy urinal, right? Ladies, you know what it feels like in the elevator when youre in complete silence with a bunch of strangers? Now put your penis in your hand.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 18 May 2011
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (44)

What Is This?

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says:
- What is this, a joke?

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 18 May 2011
  • Currently 4.83/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (36)

Reggie Watts: Cultural Awareness

Cultures are really important to be aware of. Theres over four of them.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 18 May 2010
  • Currently 5.35/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (20)

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