Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 02 December 2015

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 02 December 2015
  • Currently 9.56/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (1304)

“I've heard that the

“I've heard that the airplane industry is really taking off and reaching new heights.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

100 years old

Reporter: "So you are 100 years old. How did you manage to live so long?"
Old man: "Well, son, I got married when I was 21. The wife and I decided that if we had arguments, the loser would take a long walk to get over being mad. I suppose I have been benefitted most by 79 years of fresh air."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Funny video of the day - Ultimate Bad Friends Compilation 2015

Ultimate Bad Friends Compilation 2015 - Think your friends suck? Check out these worst friends in this ultimate bad friends compilation of 2015 and see if you need to re-evaluate your friendships… - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Lawyers On A Flight


An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards."
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

If you make a bull pun I’

If you make a bull pun I'll call you a cow word.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Funny Photo of the day - Break the Internet ugly christmas sweater

Break the Internet ugly christmas sweater - Santa’s milkshake brings all the elves to his yard in this horrifically ugly Christmas sweater. | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (4)

Two deaf men were talking on t

Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being outlate the night before.
The first man signed to his friend, "My wife was asleep when Igot home, so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get intotrouble."
The second deaf man signed back, "Boy you're lucky. My wife waswide awake, waiting for me in bed, and she started swearing atme and giving me hell for being out so late."
The first deaf man asked, "So, what did you do?"
The second man replied, "I turned out the light."
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 5.79/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (14)

A Good Bud is Hard t

What's the difference between men and beer?

When you're done with the beer it's still worth 5 cents.

#joke #short #beer
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

MAGIC SQUARE: Calculate A-B+C

The aim is to place the some numbers from the list (5, 6, 13, 22, 23, 24, 25, 30, 32, 50, 99) into the empty squares and squares marked with A, B an C. Sum of each row and column should be equal. All the numbers of the magic square must be different. Find values for A, B, and C. Solution is A-B+C.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

It's sad how quickly people can forget

It's sad how quickly people can forget about you, until they want something from you.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Minion Quotes - Despicable Me Minions is a website dedicated to minions. Have a good time reading minion quotes, funny quotes or entertain yourself playing minion games.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

A brunette goes into a doctor...

A brunette goes into a doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I dyed my hair. I'm naturally blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
#joke #blonde #doctor
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (4)

I used to have job...

I used to have job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Angry Witch

Q. What do you call an angry Witch?
A. Ribbit
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 25 November 2014
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

The chicken or the egg?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off. The egg mutters, to no-one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 29 December 2009
  • Currently 4.93/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (14)

Recently a teacher, a garbage ...

Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."
The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"
Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, "about 1,500." "That's right! You may enter." St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them."
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 02 December 2009
  • Currently 5.99/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (76)

Chuck Norris once shot an enem...

Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 02 December 2011
  • Currently 2.84/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (38)

Growing Wild

Here is this guy who really takes care of his body; he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day.

One morning, he looks into the mirror and admires his body. He notices that he is really sun tanned all over except one part and he decides to do something about it.

He goes to the beach, completely undresses and buries himself in the dand except for the one part sticking out.

Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and one looks down and says, "There really is no justice in this world."

The other little old lady says, "What do you mean?"

The first little old lady says, "Look at that."

"When I was 10 years old, I was afraid of it."

"When I was 20 years old, I was curious about it."

"When I was 30 years old, I enjoyed it."

"When I was 40 years old, I asked for it."

"When I was 50 years old, I paid for it."

"When I was 60 years old, I prayed for it."

"When I was 70 years old, I forgot about it."

"And now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild!!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 02 December 2011
  • Currently 6.27/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (33)

Better Than Botox?

Q. What's the name of a face lotion developed for Jewish women?
A. Oil of Oy Vey
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member BeliefnetSabee

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 02 December 2009
  • Currently 4.94/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (31)

Mike Birbiglia: Illiterate People

I shouldnt say bad stuff about illiterate people, though. I should write it.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 02 December 2011
  • Currently 4.22/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (23)

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