Jokes of the day for Sunday, 30 June 2019

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 30 June 2019
  • Currently 9.56/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (1437)

Why is Cinderella and soccer

Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?

BECAUSE SHE IS ALWAYS RUNNING AWAY FROM THE BALL

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

Book out for men with short ...

A man goes into Waterstones and asked the young lady assistant:

"Do you have the new book out for men with short penises?"

"I'm not sure if it's in yet."

"That's the one, I'll take a copy."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.90/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (21)

John decided to go skiing with

John decided to go skiing with his buddy, Keith. So they loaded up John's minivan and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
'I realize its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.'
'Don't worry,' John said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Keith and asked, 'Keith, do youremember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'
'Yes, I do.' Said Keith.
'Did you, err, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'
'Well, um, yes!' Keith said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'
Keith's face turned beet red and he said,'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'
'She just died and left me everything.'
(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you? you know you smiled...now keep that smile for the rest of the day!)
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

 You Might Be A Redneck If 67


You might be a reneck if...
You watch "The Dukes Of Hazzard" and have to find someone to explain it to you.
Your mom kisses you goodnight and you go to school the next day and say you've met your future wife.
When your wife walks in front of you it looks like two pigs fighting in a gunny sack.
Your only excuse for smelling bad is it runs in the family.
Your favorite fruit is chicken.
You think those yellow traffic signs that say "Slow children at play" means the kids in the area are not too bright.
At least one of the kitchen appliances on your front porch is more than forty years old.
You think "Country & Western" covers both types of music.
You've ever used a hangnail as a tooth pick.

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 2.18/10

Rating: 2.2/10 (11)

Best Deal Ever!

Used car salesperson to customer: How would you like to buy a car with zero down and zero per month?
Customer: (slight pause) For how many months?

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

“We're having a Japa

“We're having a Japanese-themed dinner party. Wanna kimono?”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.57/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (14)

From which movie is this scene?

CINEMANIA: From which movie is this scene?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

The waiter...

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.

"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "with your hand on my steak?"

"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 05 July 2016
  • Currently 3.44/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (9)

There were two buddies, one wi...

There were two buddies, one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to his friend, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead."
They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses and he starts to walk in. The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed."
The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye-dog."
The bouncer says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"
He answers, "Yes, they're using them now; they're very good and protect me from robbers, too."
The man at the door says, "Come on in."
The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.
Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"
The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua?????? They gave me a Chihuahua?!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 30 June 2015
  • Currently 8.69/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (52)

A Collection Of Insults

A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.


A few guppies short of an aquarium.
A few inches short of a foot/yard.
A few kernels short of an ear.
A few kopeks short of a ruble.
A few links shy of a chain.
A few measures short of a staff.
A few open splices.
A few peas short of a pod/casserole.
A few pickles short of a jar.
A few pies short of a holiday.
A few planes short of an Air Force / hangar.
A few points short of a polygon.
A few revisions behind.
A few sandwiches/apples/ants short of a picnic.
A few screws loose.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 30 June 2011
  • Currently 3.51/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (39)

The very high health care costs

Health care costs are rising uncontrollably across the world. In America, taxes have been on the rise just to pay for them.

In England, they have begun rationing health care services and in some cases they have waiting lists for services just to reduce costs even more. In fact, they now have a nine month waiting list for abortions.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 30 June 2010
  • Currently 4.78/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (36)

Bill Burr: Rednecks to Afghanistan

Rednecks are like Americas pit bulls. They should just sedate those people, drop em off in Afghanistan, just let them run wild. Just be like, Dude, just go do everything you ever dreamed of doing. Just go crazy. Have one of your friends play the banjo -- itll scare the hell out of them.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 30 June 2011
  • Currently 4.16/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (32)

If you can see Chuck Norris, h...

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 30 June 2011
  • Currently 2.75/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (32)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.