British top 20 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2020

The TV channel Gold’s eighth annual ranking, which is chosen by a panel chaired by the comedy critic Bruce Dessau, was put to 2,000 UK voters. Check out top 20 jokes.

1. Q: What is Dominic Cummings’ favourite Christmas song?
A: Driving Home for Christmas

2. Q: Did you hear that production was down at Santa's workshop?
A: Many of his workers have had to Elf isolate!

3. Q: Why didn't Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem?
A: All Virgin flights were cancelled

4. Q: Why are Santa's reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve?
A: They have herd immunity

5. Q: Why did the pirates have to go into lockdown?
A: Because the "Arrrr!" rate had risen

6. Q: Why is it best to think of 2020 like a panto?
A: Because eventually, it's behind you

7. Q: Why couldn't Mary and Joseph join their work conference call?
A: Because there was no Zoom at the inn

8. Q: Why can't Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute?
A: He doesn't know how many tiers it should have

9. Q: What do the Trumps do for Christmas dinner?
A: They put on a super spread

10. Q: Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time?
A: Home Alone

11. Q: How do you play Dominic Cummings Monopoly?
A: Ignore the rules, move anywhere on the board you like, and never Go To Jail

12. Q: Why won't Santa lose any presents this year?
A: He's downloaded Sack and Trace

13. Q: How is the pandemic like my stomach after Christmas?
A: It'll take ages to flatten the curve

14. Q: How is Prince Andrew coping with the stresses of Christmas this year?
A: Fine. No sweat

15. Q: Why wasn't Rudolph allowed to take part in vaccine trials?
A: Because they only wanted guinea pigs

16. Q: Which government scheme supports Christmas dinner?
A: Eat Sprout To Help Out

17. Q: How can you get out of talking to your boss at this year's staff Christmas party?
A: Put him on mute

18. Q: How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited?
A: He keeps a logbook

19. Q: Who dresses in red and gives to the children this Christmas?
A: Marcus Rashford

20. Q: Why did Mary and Joseph have to travel to Bethlehem?
A: Because they couldn't book a home delivery

#joke #christmas
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

Joke of the day - British top 20 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2020

is the best Joke for Friday, 25 December 2020 from site Jokes of The Day - British top 20 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2020.
Funny joke of the day is carefully selected joke. Goal is to have funny joke every day.
Different people consider different jokes funny, so joke can not satisfy taste for everyone. Some people like Lawyer jokes, other do not consider lawers jokes funny.
People developing software, or doing anything with the software my consider some geek stuff funny, but it might not be funny for the others.
We try to deliver best jokes every day. But, it depends on sites we take jokes from. Besides jokes, find funny photos and funny videos. Great archive so far, years of collected jokes.
NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.

Jokes Archive