Twas the Month after Chanukah...

'Twas the Month after Chanukah

Twas the month after Chanukah, and all through the house

Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibble, the latkas I'd taste

At Chanukah parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared

The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine or the egg creams, the bread and the cheese

and the way I'd never said, ''No thank you, please.''

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt

and prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

I said to myself, as only I can

''You can't spend the winter disguised as a man!''

So... away with the last of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of all chocolate, each cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished

''Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.

I'll want to chew only a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,

I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---

But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

#joke #newyear
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
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