Neil Lewis, Pilton
Last night police were called to a branch of Pizza Hut after a body of a member of staff was found covered in mushrooms, onions ham and cheese. The police spokesman said that there was a strong possiblity that the man had topped himself.
Christine Oliver, Leith
A lonely frog, desparate for some company telephones a psychic hotline to find out what his future has in store. His personal psychic adviser tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled and says: "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?" "No," replies the psychic, "in a biology class."
Judith Smith, West Lothian
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