| 1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing
the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off
with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The
act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a
piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching
over and picking it up, examining it, then putting
it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the
piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing
on it, assuming this will somehow `remove' all the
germs.
4. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two
people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie
theater.
5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that
refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps
backing a person across the room until he finally
decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n.
Manhandling the 'open here' spout on a milk
container so badly that one has to resort to the
`illegal' side.
7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy
restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking
around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of
dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you
were calling just as they answer.
9. PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on
a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n.
The act of always letting the phone ring at least
twice before you pick it up, even when you're only
six inches away. |
