Robert Schmidt 13

My uncle's an airline pilot ... kinda makes it difficult to hold the bottle though...

When my Dad came home last night, my mom fainted.

Don't tell anyone I said but we're live on national TV.

I broke a leg one time ... spilt coffee all over.

I bought this thing for my car. You put it on your car, it sends out this little noise, so when you drive through the woods, deer won't run in front of your car. I installed it backwards by accident. Driving down the street with a herd of deer chasing me. Those were the days.

That's a good thing to say to the police the next time they stop you. "License and registration, please." "Hermits have no peer pressure." "License and registration, please." "Whenever I think about the past, it just brings back so many memories." "License and registration, please." "There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. Wouldn't you" say, Officer?" "License and registration, please." "What's another word for Thesaurus?" See the cop have a nervous breakdown. "I was just trying to give him a ticket."

I can't wait to be arrested and go all the way to the witness stand. "Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you, God?" "Yes, you're ugly. See that women in the jury? I'd really like to sleep with her. Should I keep going or are you going to ask me questions?"

In the Roadrunner cartoon, the coyote has been chasing him for 25 years. I'd like to see him finally get right up to him and go "Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

Driving hasn't been the same since I installed the funhouse rearview mirrors. "What is that?"

Driving down the street at 150 miles per hour with a friend of mine on cruise control. Both of us in the back seat. The police pulled us over. They don't know who to arrest, nobody's driving. So, they arrested us both. I'm on the witness stand. You know the rest.

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 6.11/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (19)

Follow jokes of the day on social networks

Permalink to Joke of the day - Robert Schmidt 13

Permalink to Joke for Wednesday, 23 December 2009 from site Jokes of the day - Robert Schmidt 13.
Funny joke of the day is carefully selected joke. Goal is to have funny joke every day.
Different people consider different jokes funny, so joke can not satisfy taste for everyone. Some people like Lawyer jokes, other do not consider lawers jokes funny.
People developing software, or doing anything with the software my consider some geek stuff funny, but it might not be funny for the others.
We try to deliver best jokes every day. But, it depends on sites we take jokes from. Besides jokes, find funny photos and funny videos. Great archive so far, years of collected jokes.
NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.

Jokes Archive