Popular jokes (10801 to 10815)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
True or false...
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."
Mr Wong
Mr Wong goes to an optometrist to have his failing eyesight checked out.
The optometrist runs a battery of tests and comes to a conclusion.
'Mr Wong, I'm afraid you have a cataract'
He replies, 'No I don't - I drive lincoln town car!'
Matador
Matador: to install a door mat.Wyoming Crazy Law
Cheyenne
A police officer arrives at an...
A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building... he suddenly notices that one is still breathing.He approaches her and asks: "why the hell did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?"
The blond answers in a very weak voice: "we wanted to try out our new maxi-pads with wings"...
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
"I believe in dragons, good men and other fantasy creatures."
Is that a dog in the back seat?
It was the end of the day when I parked my police car in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.
"Is that a dog you got in the back seat there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the car. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
The Pastor's Mother and the Usher
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely."The front row please." she answered.
"You really don't want to do that", the usher said. "The pastor is really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired."No." he said.
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"No." she said.
"Good," he answered.
Some Police Quotes
"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"Just how big were those two beers?
"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
We want to strike Acco...
We want to strike Accord with anyone who's ever crashed their Honda.Eunuchs tend to be chivalrous.
Eunuchs tend to be chivalrous. As the French say, ‘nob-less oblige'.A teacher in a political scien...
A teacher in a political science class asked the students, "Who is the most powerful person in the US?"A student answered, "The First Pet?"
The teacher then asked, "Why?"
The student explained, "Because, the president kneels before him, talks to him, listens to him, follows him, prefers him to office staff, looks after his wellbeing before the voters', cancels/defers official duties in favor of him, and boards Airforce One first."
