Jokes of the day for Thursday, 04 December 2008

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 04 December 2008
  • Currently 9.61/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (111)

College Student Q and A
College Student Q and A

Q: What does the average Mississippi State player get on his SATs?

A: Drool.


Q: What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?

A: A full set of teeth.


Q: How do you get a Georgia graduate off your porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.


Q: Why do the Auburn cheerleaders wear bibs?

A: To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.


Q: Why is the Vandy football team like a possum?

A: Because they play dead at home, and get killed on the road.


Q: What are the longest three years of a Florida football player's life?

A: His freshman year.


Q: How many Ole Miss freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None . . . That's a sophomore course at Mississippi.


Q: Where was O.J. headed in the white Bronco?

A: Lexington, Kentucky . . . He knew that the police would never look there for a Heisman Trophy winner.


Q: Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?

A: They can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.
#joke

Joke | Source: Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Apple pie....

Little Johnny and his family lived in the country, and as a result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.

When the dinner was nearly over, Little Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest.

Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest.

This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (4)


A man walks into a bar a...


A man walks into a bar and asks: "Can I have a pint of Less, please?"
"Sorry sir," the barman says, "what's that?"

"I've no idea," replies the man, "but I went to see my doctor last week and he told me that I should drink less."

#joke #doctor #walksintoabar
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 4.75/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (4)

SINGLES AD

This ...

SINGLES AD

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in The Atlanta Journal.

SINGLE FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting...

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever.

(They say men ARE so easy)

#joke
Joke | Source: http://www.webwombat.com.au/ - Jokes: Joke of the Day
  • Currently 5.57/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (7)

How many men does it take to o...

How many men does it take to open a can of beer? None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
#joke #short #beer
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 4.57/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (7)

Reduce National Debt


The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

Monday, December 7, 1992

In October, an envelope containing $15,000 in cash was left, anonymously, on a chair at the Detroit IRS office with the instruction to apply it "to reduce the national debt."





#joke #december #monday
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.71/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (7)

Remove 3 letters from this seq...

Remove 3 letters from this sequence (GTAIBLOIWD) to reveal a familiar English word.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Convert

Two Jews are out for a walk when they pass a Catholic Church with a sign out front that says "Today Only, $1000.00 If You Convert!"

They argue back and forth until they finally decide which one is going to go in and give it a try.

He steps in the church while his friend waits outside. The fellow is in there for hours with his buddy patiently waiting. Finally, he returns.

His friend says "Well what happened? Did you convert? Did you get the money? Show me the money!"

The other fellow says "Is that all you people think about?"

Submitted by Tbone

Edited by Yisman

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (6)

A Zoo Story

A guy found a sheep and showed him to a policeman.
The policeman said, "Take that sheep to the zoo, now."
Next day the policeman sees the man with the sheep again.
The policeman stops the guy and says, "What on earth are you doing with that sheep?"
The guy says, "What is there to do? Yesterday I took him to the zoo and now I''m taking him to the movies."
#joke #policeman
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 2.80/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (5)

A manager brings a dog ...

A manager brings a dog into a nightclub to work.
The dog is a brilliant piano player.  He plays all the
standards.  He's sitting there, pounding out the tunes,
when all of a sudden, a big dog comes in and drags him
out.  The nightclub owner asks, “What happened?”

The manager says,
“That's his mother.  She wants him to be a doctor.”

#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Joke of the day - Jokes of the day on Wordpress
  • Currently 4.97/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (31)

...

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 24 August 2008
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (6)

See what proper pun...

See what proper punctuation will do!!

Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?
Sheila

Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours, Sheila

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 22 August 2008
  • Currently 4.20/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (10)

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