Popular jokes (11 to 20)

Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system.
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (1437)

Doctor told me I was going deaf

Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf...

I haven’t heard from him since

#joke #dadjoke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.27/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (15)

Now What? (world's funniest joke)

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. .

He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". .

The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." .

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. .

Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" .

This is The "world's funniest joke", as by the THE SCIENTIFIC SEARCH FOR THE WORLD’S FUNNIEST JOKE by Richard Wiseman, of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002

The Winning joke, which was later found is based on a 1951 Goon Show sketch by Spike Milligan

Photo by Rhett Noonan on Unsplash

Happy International Joke Day July the first!

#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 8.60/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (15)

Can’t stick with a diet?

Q: What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet?

A: A desserter.

By reddit user JquaterReddit

#joke #pun #short #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 8.60/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (10)

Why is the letter B so cool?

Why is the letter B so cool?

Because it’s sitting in the middle of the AC

This joke is around for a while in many versions, but this exact wording is by Reddit user DrumSpace

#joke #short #dadjoke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.27/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (15)

Calculate the number 253

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 253 using numbers [8, 2, 3, 6, 40, 156] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

A trucker came into a truck st...

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running Boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said, "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon."
"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"
#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 9.13/10

Rating: 9.1/10 (16)

Grandpa, Did God Make You?

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather’s lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, “Grandpa, did God make you?”“Yes, sweetheart,” he answered. “God made me a long time ago.”“Oh,” she paused. “Grandpa, did God make me too?”“Yes, indeed, honey,” he said. “God made you just a little while ago.”Feeling their respective faces again, the little girl observed, “God’s getting better at it, isn’t He?”
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (12)

Joke about spine

Did anyone see the joke I posted recently about my spine?

It was about a weak back.

Author:wtfover reddit userPhoto by Patricia Hildebrandt from Pexels

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Reddit Jokes: Get Your Funny On! - The funniest sub on reddit. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts!
  • Currently 6.15/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (13)

Getting Divorced

An elderly man calls his son who lives in another city and says: "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery is enough".

"Dad, what are you talking about?"

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "No way they're getting divorced", she shouts. "I'll take care of this."

She calls her parents immediately, and says to her father: "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, do you hear me?!"

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says. "They're coming for our anniversary and paying their own way. Now what do we tell them for your birthday?"

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (5)

The Chinese Doctor & The Lawyer

A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts a sign outside
'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'
An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: 'I have lost my sense of taste.'
Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth.'
Lawyer: 'Ugh. this is kerosene.'
Chinese: 'Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20.'
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.
Lawyer: 'I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything.'
Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.'
Lawyer (annoyed): 'This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste.'
Chinese: 'Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20.'
The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
Lawyer: 'My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all.'
Chinese: 'Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100.'
Lawyer (staring at the note): 'But this is $20, not $100!!'
Chinese: 'Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20'

 

#joke #doctor #lawyer
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 9.12/10

Rating: 9.1/10 (128)

Stealing people’s electrons

I was arrested the other day for stealing people’s electrons.

I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.

Found on: badjokesbyjeff.tumblr.com

#joke #smartpeoplejoke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.83/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (12)

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