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Halloween jokes (61 to 75)Jokes about halloween. These are the jokes listed 61 to 75. |
My friend's dad is a dentist...
My friend's dad is a dentist. This is his pumpkin for Halloween. Jehovah's Witnesses and halloween
TIL Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate halloween...
I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their doors
WORST HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS...
WORST HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS FOR A RETIREMENT HOME EVER YOU KNOW YOU'RE TRAILER TRASH WHEN...
1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has
more teeth than your spouse.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke
at the dinner table in front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still
have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league"
bowls on a different night.
5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired
people."
6. You wonder how service stations keep their
restrooms so clean.
7. Anyone in your family ever died right after
saying, "Hey y'all watch this."
8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a
ceiling fan.
10. Your junior prom had a daycare.
11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled
Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."
12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your
house exploded right off its wheels.
13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up
and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
14. You have to go outside to get something
from the fridge.
15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
16. You need one more hole punched in your
card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
17. You can't get married to your sweetheart
because there's a law against it.
18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting
your wife drunk.
19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend
hits the floor.
21. If you have a complete set of salad bowls
and they all say Cool Whip onthe side....
22. If the biggest city you've ever been to
is Wal-Mart...
23. If your working T.V. sits on top of your
non-working R.V...
24. If you thought the Una-bomber was a wrestler...
25. If you've ever used your ironing board
as a buffet table...
26. If you think a quarter horse is that ride
out in front of the K-Mart...
27. If your neighbours think you're a detective
because a cop always brings you home...
28. If a tornado hits your neighborhood and
does $100,000 dollars worth of improvement...
29. If you've ever used a toilet brush as a
back scratcher
30. If you've ever asked the preacher "How's
it hangin?"
31. If you missed 5th grade graduation because
you had jury duty...
32. If you think fast food is hitting a deer
at 65 mph...
33. If somebody tells you that you've got something
in your teeth and you take them out to see what
it is...
34. If you've ever stared at a can of orange
juice because it said concentrate...
35. If you've ever been too drunk to fish.
36. If you don't understand why the first 35
are not funny.
Scary Collection 65
A witch joke
Who went into a witche's den and came out alive?
The witch!
A witch joke
What is a witches favourite magazine?
The witch report!
A witch joke
What did the young witch say to her mother?
Can I have the keys to the broom tonight!
A witch joke
What's the best advice you can give to a witch on a broomstick?
Don't fly off the handle!
A witch joke
Who turns the lights off at halloween?
The light's witch!
A witch joke
Whats the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin?
Ever tried broomstick pie?
!
A wizard joke
What do you call a wizard from outer space?
A flying sorcerer!
What Day Is That Day?
My four year old and I were discussing holidays, and I asked him, "What is the day which comes after Halloween when you have turkey?"
My husband quickly answered, "Election day."
The American myth is that every boy can grow up to be President.
The Bush reality now is that the boy doesn't have to grow up?!
