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Short jokes - funny one liners (3881 to 3920)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 3881 to 3920. |
Dead Atheist
Q: What do you call a dead atheist? A: Someone all dressed up with nowhere to go! - Joke shared by Beliefnet member sharohio#joke #short
A Puzzle for Darwin
On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: Let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out. #joke #short
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo
If I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
#joke #short
Row, Row, Row Your Boat?
A student was asked if he knew what Roe v. Wade was about. He answered that he thought it was the decision George Washington had to make when he decided to cross the Delaware.#joke #short
Calling home, the traveling va...
Calling home, the traveling vacuum cleaner salesman complained to his wife that he'd gotten two orders that day."But darling," she declared, "that's wonderful!"
"Not so wonderful," he glumly corrected. "The first was 'Get out' and the second was 'Stay out.'"
#joke #short
A Blonde goes over to her fri
A Blonde goes over to her friend's houseWearing a T.G.I.F. T-shirt.'Why are you wearing a Thank GodIt's Friday tee-shirt on Monday?'
'Oh crap!' the blonde says. 'I didn'tRealize it was a religious T-shirt. I thought it meant Tits Go In Front'
Friendly Pastor
After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left. Later, the wife's roommate commented, “Your pastor is sure friendlier than mine.”#joke #short
I applied for a job...
“I applied for a job as a weatherman, but my knowledge of meteorology was a little cloudy.”
#joke #short
St. George and the Dragon
A tramp knocked on the door of the inn known as St. George and the Dragon. The landlady answered the door.The tramp said, “Could you give a poor man something to eat?”"No,” said the woman, slamming the door in his face.He knocked again and said, “Could I have a few words with George?”#joke #short
“Why did the watch ma
“Why did the watch make a quick trip to the dry cleaners? It was pressed for time!”
#joke #short
If Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder...
“If absence makes the heart grow fonder,” said a minister, “a lot of folks must really love our church.”#joke #short
Eve's Steep Price
God noticed that Adam was lonely. He said to him "Adam, I am going to give you the perfect companion. She'll cook and clean and listen, she's perfect."Adam replied, "What will she cost me?"God said, "An arm and a leg."Shocked, Adam said, "Well, what can I get for a rib?" #joke #short
“When it comes to dan
“When it comes to dancing, no one can just waltz in and learn instantly. Sometimes it takes a quick-step, or sometimes you need to hustle around. But eventually anyone can get the swing of it.”
#joke #short
“Beware of lumberjack
“Beware of lumberjacks bearing dull tools. They usually have an axe to grind!”
#joke #short
When Life Begins
There's a big controversy on the Jewish view of exactly when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.#joke #short
“If your computer doe
“If your computer doesn't work, I might have some Bits and PCs that could help.”
#joke #short
Gallagher opened the morning n
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died.He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"
#joke #short
The Buddha's Vacuum Cleaner
Q: Why did it take the Buddha forever to vacuum his sofa?A: Because he didn't have any attachments.
#joke #short
A man tells his friend, "I wen
A man tells his friend, "I went to my doctor to see if he could help me give up smoking.""What did he say?"
"He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should reach for a bar of chocolate."
"Did that do any good?"
"No I can't get the chocolate to light."
Answering Machine Message 27
Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra": Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can.#joke #short
Two Kinds of People
There are two kinds of people. Those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."#joke #short
If you want to deliv...
“If you want to deliver a compliment, you have to address them properly.”
#joke #short
