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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day.
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Jokes of the day
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Joke of the day archive is updated every day with new jokes. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
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The best jokes - top rated jokes
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The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 11 to 20.
NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily.
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Hold that thought |
Q: what is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold onto a thought.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No, think of another
wish." The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women....know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment....know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'....know how to make them truly happy...."
The genie asked, "Do you want that bridge two lanes or four?" |
Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
| Brigadiers like imprisoning Bambi? |
Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys! - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No, think of another wish."
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women.... know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment.... know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'.... know how to make them truly happy...."
The genie asked, "Do you want that bridge two lanes or four?"
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Permalink | Source : MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.
An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.
'So, what is it?' grumbled the governor.
'Judge Garber has just died' said the attorney, 'and I want to take his place.'
The governor replied: 'Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker.' |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
| A beautiful, sexy, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy in a plane...... The lady said to him ' Can you help me remove something from my breast please? ‘The exciting young man replied, 'Wow! It will be my pleasure....... So what is it?' "Your Eyes, idiot!" |
Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
| The government bill to ban alcohol was met by a chorus of booze. |
Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys! - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
A beautiful, sexy, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy on a plane......
The lady said to him, "Can you help me remove something from my breast please?"
The excited young man replied, "Wow! It will be my pleasure....... So what is it?"
"Your eyes, idiot!"
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Permalink | Source : MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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JB Smoove: Sound System |
I did a club one night -- the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive. - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Old lover |
At 85 years of age, Morris married Lou Anne, a lovely 25 year old.
Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding she and Morris should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Morris, her 85 year old groom ready for action. They unite as one.
All goes well, Morris takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep. After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Morris. Again he is ready for more "action".
Somewhat surprised, Lou Anne consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Morris kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it, Morris is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more "action". And, once again they enjoy each other.
But as Morris gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Morris."
Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says: "You mean I was here already?"
Submitted by axelwang
Edited by Curtis |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 9.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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