Jokes of the day for Thursday, 18 October 2018

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 18 October 2018
  • Currently 9.57/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (1681)

A man goes to the eye doctor.

A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there.
The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes."
The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?"
The man replies, "No, just spots."
#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.07/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (14)

“Doughnut, that word

“Doughnut, that word has a certain ring to it.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

 Answering Machine Message 172


Hi, you have reached Richard. I'm sorry, but my answering machine is out of order, so the voice you are hearing is actually me.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Snow Days

A heavy snowstorm closed the schools in one town. When the children returned to school a few days later, one grade school teacher asked her students whether they had used the time away from school constructively. "I sure did, teacher," one little girl replied. "I just prayed for more snow."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

A Little Extra In The Soup....

Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under it, and left them there.A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary can't believe it!

He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"

The other missionary said, "I just peed in the soup!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 24 October 2015
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

A man and his wife were drivin

A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York toCalifornia.
Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station andfill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to thehigh octane pump.
"What can I do for ya'll?" asks the attendant. "Fill 'er up with high test,"replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he's lookingthe car up and down.
"What kinda car is this?" he asks. "I never seen one like it before."
"Well," responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, "This, my boy isa 1999 Cadillac DeVille."
"What all's it got in it?" asks the attendant.
"Well," says the driver, "It has everything. It's loaded with power steering,power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a 10 deck CDplayer in the trunk with 100 watts per channel, 8 speaker stereo, rack andpinion steering, disk brakes all around, leather interior, digital instrumentpackage, and best of all, a 8.8 liter V12 engine."
"Wow," says the attendant, "That's really something!"
"How much do I owe you for the gasoline?" asks the driver.
"That'll be $30.17," says the attendant.
The driver pulls out his money clip and peels off a $20 and a $10. He goes intohis other pocket and pulls out a handful of change. Mixed up with the changeare a few golf tees.
"What are those little wooden things?" asks the attendant.
"That's what I put my balls on when I drive," says the driver.
"Wow," says the attendant, "Those Cadillac people think of everything!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 07 December 2014
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

What a winning combination?

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Little Nancy was in the garden...

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you doing there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was very concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, "That's because he's inside your fricking cat."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 18 October 2016
  • Currently 8.53/10

Rating: 8.5/10 (34)

Chuck Norris does not beg to d...

Chuck Norris does not beg to differ. Differ begs to Chuck Norris.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 18 October 2011
  • Currently 2.65/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (31)

Jessi Klein: You Look A Lot Like...

This co-worker of mine, who I dont know well at all, comes up to me and goes, Hey Jessi, I dont know if anyones ever told you this before, but you look a lot like Anne Frank. I didnt really know where to put that as a remark. But the worst thing is that my first thought was, Was Anne Frank hot?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 18 October 2010
  • Currently 4.92/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (25)

Second Honeymoon

The old couple were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary. The old woman said, "We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon."

"Uh huh," said the old man.

"We will do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon," said the old woman.

"Uh huh," said the old man.

"And we will make love like we did on our first honeymoon," said the old woman.

"That's right," said the old man, "except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry, 'It's too big, it's too big!'"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 18 October 2011
  • Currently 3.76/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (25)

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