The best jokes (17791 to 17805)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 17791 to 17805. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
There's one US State tha
There's one US State that loves Barack so much, they're calling it All Obama.#joke #short
Why does rubbing your hair wit
Why does rubbing your hair with vinegar give you head lice?#joke #short
One line jokes-Contortionist
The show host declared to the packed audience that he would be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who said he could no longer make ends meet.
#joke #short
Business One-liners 06
A stagnant science is at a standstill.
A theory is better than its explanation.
A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.
A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.
Ability is a good thing but stability is even better.
Ability is like a check, it has no value unless it is cashed.
Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it is out of date.) - Stafford Beer
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
According to the official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
Adding manpower to a late software product makes it later.
#joke #beer
Sherlock Holmes novels are sex
Sherlock Holmes novels are sexist! As are all mister-ies.#joke #short
Sun Tzu's critically pan
Sun Tzu's critically panned sequel to his masterpiece, aka The Fart of Whore.#joke #short
If you want to become a good m
If you want to become a good magician you ought to pocus on your craft.#joke #short
Knock Knock Collection 099
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Jaguar!
Jaguar who?
Jaguar nimble, Jaguar quick!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Jaimie!
Jaimie who!
Jaimie a game of chess!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Jamaica!
Jamaica who?
Jamaica mistake!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
James!
James who!
James people play!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Jan!
Jan who?
Jan of Green Gables!
#joke
A half-man, half-goat makes th
A half-man, half-goat makes the best baby-satyr.#joke #short
Achievements of A Modern Man
A motivational speaker, while addressing his audience, talked about the various achievements man has made today.
He said, 'Today, man has built a ship to cross an ocean, fastest trains to travel across cities, and built planes to fly high in the skies like a bird...'
A gentleman from the audience interrupted, 'Any yet, a man still cannot sit on a barbed wire like a bird does!'
#joke
Anyone who leads a plow animal
Anyone who leads a plow animal onto the links can, in my opinion, golf ox themselves.#joke #short
School Collection 03
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because the class was so dim!
A history joke
How did Vikings communicate?
By norse code!
A math joke
Teacher: How much is half of 8?
Pupil: Up and down or across?
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!
A history joke
What is a forum?
Two-um plus two-um!
#joke
A man goes into a little neigh...
A man goes into a little neighborhood pub, and when he sits down, he notices a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar. He waves to her, and much to his surprise, she winks back at him. It doesn't take long before he is on the stool next to her.They talk for about fifteen minutes and then the man says to the woman, "You're really hot!"
"You're pretty cute, too," she says to him. "I'll tell you what. I live just around the corner. What do you think about coming up to my place?"
"It sounds great!" the man eagerly replies.
"Before we go up there, though," the woman says, "I have to ask you one question. Do you like doing it Greek style?"
"Well...uh...I'm not exactly sure what that is," the man answers, "but it sure sounds interesting and I'm willing to learn! Let's go!"
So the two of them walk over to her apartment. As soon as they get inside the door, the woman rips off all her clothes. The man can't believe his eyes - the woman has an incredibly beautiful body.
"Now, you're sure," the woman asks, "that you want to do it Greek style?"
"Definitely!" the man replies.
"All right, then," says the woman. "Take off all your clothes, and get up on the bed on yours hands and knees."
"Sounds like fun!" the man exclaims. He leaps out of his clothes and climbs onto the bed on his hands and knees.
The woman goes around and gets onto the bed right in front of the man. She kneels down in front of his head. She asks him again, "Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?"
"Yeah! Yeah!" says the man.
The woman grabs the man with her arms right under his armpits, getting him in a lock hold. He can't move at all, and his head is pressing right into her chest.
One more time she says, "Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?"
The man's muffled voice can barely be heard from between her breasts. "Yeah!" he mumbles, "Greek style!"
The woman's grip on him tightens like a vice, and she yells out, "OK Bill, he's ready now!"
#joke